in the world of my own

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

When each has his destiny
Mine lies in tatters,
Like a loser on the road
I am ‘nothing’ who matters.
Words begin with mercy,
Alms in prayers do I get,
Adulation was bestowed
Haplessness I now beget.

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

Crazy do I feel ,
Trying to dream the dream,
Satisfaction would also bleed
Dying away without a scream.
I don’t wanna give away
I don’t wanna run away
I wanna fight it out
I wanna shout it loud.

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

when dreams die

I paint my hopes into nightmarish skies
not tough enough, though difficult,
when a dream, dies.....

I take the strokes with my heart's brush
not worthy enough, though priceless,
as my tearful eyes blush....

I stretch my arms making your world within
not tired enough, though weak,
i search my soul therein....

I picture effortlessly the serene beautiful sunrise
not shining enough, though glorious,
through which your memories arise...

I scamper the colour of those innocent eyes
not blameless enough, though angelic,
in which my whole life lies....

I shall paint for you alone, those celestial skies
not enchanting enough, though sublime,
there shall I watch, as my dream dies...

life's characterization

In all desperation,
I signify emancipation,
With Unworthy intoxication
Feeling internal coagulation.

All these dejections
Unsaid, unfelt rejections
Boost me like injections
Their dastardly suggestions.

Death’s tantalizations
My soul’s adjudications
Skillful appropriations
Their phony prostrations.

Living on probations
Impending rationalizations
In this world of automations
I signify randomizations.

Reaching finalization
My Breath’s factorization
In a shameful picturization
Of Probing, life’s fictionalization.

Reaching a culmination
Is my grim visualization,
Enforcing mesmerization
Discard this lewd Characterization.

wait....

its so silent today
like the world is in dismay
i miss you here tonight
each moment a silent fight
sunlight just begins to stream
in it my life seems to beam
i wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

in a distant land you stay
i search that forgone way
in the cuddled care of sleep
you there, in dreams i reap
i hear your breaths tonight
holding you upclose and tight
i wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

i know He sees me from there
glancing my destinies lying bare
I pray from Him to give me you
take my soul in its lieu
i wish you could love as I am
to see some good behind my sham
i, still, wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

a sinner's prayer

Words are not there for you
O Lord, but am sure you listen to me
In the rhythm of my heart, for sure
This pain of mine, you do see.
I love you O Lord for all,
For all the blessing you gave to me
I walked against a wish of yours
Am sure you would let it be.
You know all about me, O Lord
All the worldly pleasures that I steal,
But don’t remove me from the faith
I wish on my heart to bear, that holy seal.
Ask the angels to write for me,
Write for me, the water of the sacred stream,
I wish to drink it with my lips
To let my soul be pierced by the holy Beam.
I pray tonight again O Lord
Asking again, let me be a part of the plan
Give this wretched man a chance
To fight the holy war, be warrior of the clan.
But before that I beg from You
I beg to cleanse my soul
Forgive me for my sins
Let me in my own way, for you, extol.

she came.....

Beneath the crimson sky
With an emerald hue
She came along on a wave
The smile that was due.

For my spirit only
Riding on the crest
She came to earth for me
Bringing happiness abreast.

They had my soul bound
the zephyrs of her breath
In those flowing locks of hairs lay
the apostle of my worldly death.

Softness as that of her skin
had me numb with a touch.
I realised what heaven was
In the ethereal moment such.

Dreams that I saw
Were like this, that I felt.
I walked along with her
in them, did the oceans melt.

Beneath the crimson sky
With an emerald hue
She came along on a wave
The smile that was due.

my life

the moments,
melting into each other,
giving way,
each breath, to another,
what has life become
my soul, subdued by a tether.

these thoughts,
the ones, which make me worry.
Coming with a pace
A pace, not less than a flurry.
I dream harder,
harder it seems, but not in a hurry.
I still search,
search a land, where to myself bury.
to all screaming,
screaming a word, that just means Sorry.
yeah, these are the thoughts,
the ones, which make me worry.

it feels,
feels as if burning since ages.
it hurts,
hurts as if a fire ravages.
am falling,
falling there where none salvages.
am going,
going where there are no privilidges.
am dying,
dying like you all, doomed noble savages.
would come,
come here, where your god scavenges.

the moments,
melting into each other,
giving way,
each breath, to another,
what has life become
my soul, subdued by a tether.

Love's reckoning

Rise up, o my poor soul,
Your day of reckoning has come.
Love, showered with all effort
An insult for them has become.

Each beat that your heart missed,
Each breath that you gave away,
Has become suffering for those
Who were there forever, to stay.

The gasps of uneasy emotions
Through which does the fire foment.
Worried on each act of yours
Arises in the heart, a fierce torment.

Ensuing serene depths of solitude,
Beneath that majestic earthly storm,
Lies the carcass of your love
That place, till now was your home.

Gathered come all, the beings
From all the lands of love.
You shall toil for innocence
No help expected from up above.

Rise up, o my poor soul,
Your day of reckoning has come.
Love, showered with all effort
An insult for them has become.

where i sat

i just walked out,
living all day, in my cage.
wondering on those steps
where all sit, none a sage.

the noises that pricked ,
the late soriee behind,
each with his boisterous smile
had turned me blind.

suffering at their hands,
being shown a wilful neglect.
passing around me, all,
none noticing where i sat.

only refuge was the breeze
singing and flying playfully around
it did shush in my ears
in sweet smell had me surround.

I lay,not much to share
but the heart full of rage,
wondering on those steps
where all sit, none a sage.

me aint worth it.....

in the wee hours
i stay awake and think,
with eyes fighting hard
i let this feeling sink.

me aint worth it
this care thats being shown,
trying just to keep it out
from being someone's own.

me aint worth it
for being loved so much,
to be alleviated of my pains
by that sublime touch.

me aint worth it
of being kept around,
to face all the sorrows,
in love, to be bound.

me aint worth it
of putting all your trust,
when breaking all vows
my soul, gathers dust.

me aint worth it
of being walked along,
turning away from all
convinced that it isnt wrong.

me aint worth it
to spend one's life,
when i promise nothing
but glorious strife.

in the wee hours
i stay awake and think
with eyes fighting hard
i let this feeling sink.

wake me up when i die

I feel so tired today
Begging rest, is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

The walls that appear
the lights which disappear
the sounds getting muffled
destiny’s pages being ruffled
all crying and screaming
my fate is beaming
Finally I find the place
Where death I’d face.

I feel so tired today
Begging rest is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

Eyes floated with pictures
When I forget the scriptures
Spelling the impending doom
My soul whimpers a boom
In silence lying agitated
I feel so emancipated
These tremors do a message send
I fast approach my worthless end.

I feel so tired today
Begging rest is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

ethics class of mine

scrambling sun in my eyes
the long walk to the class
defying the strength of a human
i get ready to hear that farce.

bollocks full of crap
raging goes ethics, in my mind
each moral lesson
does nothing but me, blind.

talks of socrates
blasts of aristotle
mingling my head hard
each word a narcotic bottle.

bringing me to the edge
frustrating me to push him through
that morality's class
where none of us have worth to do.

drowsy, dreamy and lousy
the prof scampers for my soul
with all that s**t that he blares
maps a screaching hole.

harshly blaming hedonism
for my guilty pleasures
spoiling each smile of my past
none of these, he treasures.

with a whimper it ends
the tempest that he did start
each concern that he raised
in the end, not worthy a fart.

a belch on constipation

the scene replicates each day
when for me its hard to say
clutching on my tummy
a short prayer is all i pray.

heavily full upto the brim
all the earlier day's cream
i find it hard to pass it now
each force making me scream.

the smiles that ensue
about my crimson hue
make me beg to GOD
what is this for, what from me is due?

the pills that follow
make me go yellow
nobody understands the misery
how each motion is my sorrow.

i dont wish any to have
coz none seems so brave
this internal enemy
makes every morning grave.

finally patience wins
am acquitted of my sins
i get up with an effort
leaving behind things for the bins.

i have seen my soul in you

opening my eyes
awakening my mind
celebrating my life
each beat of mine screaming,
i have seen my soul in you.

those flickering eyelashes
the world that it thrashes
the chaos that it ensues
in their rhythm proclaiming,
i have seen my soul in you.

the locks that lock air
those black streams which trap
in each my story tangles
each fall just validating,
i have seen my soul in you.

those lips which shine
and sometimes make a whine
on each my life resides
each kiss from them stipulating,
i have seen my soul in you.

run

sitting alone here,
i wish to disppear,
run away from this world
to realms which look dear.

leaving all places around,
and tread a different ground,
where all miseries end
and just cheers abound.

what roads to take,
what earths to rake,
where shall i stop
which heart shall i break.

nearing the end,
i see the world bend,
praying just my death
i have no message to send.

from all shall i run,
each a hypocrite son,
nothing to fear
no person, no gun.

sitting alone here,
i wish to disppear,
run away from this world
to realms which look dear.

on gujarat riots

opening the eyes wide

the vision that has me enthralled

screams which pierce my soul

the spirits looking on, all overhauled.

suffering that they began

wounds that they dig in us hard

now each day i work along to fill

cursing those b**t**ds to have sons retard.

softly the air blows

the scent of blood that oozes in it

nobody here realises that

how life is so much full of sh*t.

i need to work this out

i need to make their world new

that which was destroyed by the cowards

i would rebuild along with the chosen few.

o god, o god, up there,

i need you to be with me,

while i fight this holy war and die,

on my beloved ones shall you oversee.

each day i think

each moment they remind me

the silent begging eyes of children

ones who never wanted it to be.

death when becomes dream

which comes up in eyes open

scarred by pernicious reality

each breath labours hard to find a clan.

opening the eyes wide
the vision that has me enthralled
screams which pierce my soul
the spirits looking on, all overhauled.

rocking with agony

if it had to be me
why didnt i see
the toughest times were coming
the winds were storms becoming
in the face of it all
i wish i could stop, the fall.
here I come……….
to the depths of the dark
in the valley of mist
what miseries, can I list
when shall it stop
on joy will I hop

all eyes looming on my soul
laughing at me, they're having a ball
no one stretching his arms
no one trying to give alms
smiling with vengeance
testing my allegiance
growling with patience
i keep on the fall
hitting the wall
in the valley of mist
what miseries can I list
when shall it stop
on joy will I hop.

unusual

it had to be seen
when i woke up one day
in lands close and nearby
i saw the words i say.
i had a call
with "love" that day
saw him depressed
and in deep dismay.
shaking that he was
with fears unknown
hard to console him
i struggled for words gone.
finding his feet
searching for a ground
i fell with him
without a groan or a sound.
while we took a walk
and shared our ideas
mid way he stumbled again
and took his breath last
dying there in my hands
vowing to meet again
he bid me bye,disappearing in sands.
i shall always remember
i had a call
with "love" that day
saw him depressed
and in deep dismay.

where is our present?

Worried too much about my past

O dear,you just seem to be

While I dwell in our future

In all this, the present, we cant see.

Trying to create the fabric of love

The threads from my life I collect,

Trying to attach the links of my past

My soul's worth, you work to detect.

Learning all along the way

Each mistake in itself has been my lesson.

But all this has been a pain to you

Which my heart's beat tries hard to lessen.

I beg mercy from you and from all

for being so selfish in the recent past.

Wish it had been a wound to me only

And none of this had made you feel aghast.

But i wish the light of my future

One wherein you shall shine,

Can make all the gloom of yesterday

Run away without a slightest whine.

Prayers that rouse from the guilt within

Wind around my soul with each moment

Screaming all the time for you happiness

these words have feelings, you alone foment.

wishes

O mother, raising me in times hard,

Times which were tough to last

I worry each moment for our future

It should never have a moment of past.

With enough courage I put it out

Right in front of your feet, sweet mother.

I wanna have you both in life

God, never ask me to choose one over another.

O mother, I found someone to love

To love, but lesser than I do to you.

She shall remain the breath I take

But its the soul that is only you.

She has worries of her own

I shall bear them with mine too.

Would work hard to make you happy

as well as her kith and kin too.

Aspiring to make it all right

Forming reality out of dreams.

Nothing shall stop me all these

Yours prayers alone I need, it seems.

Life they say is a garden

And you both are the fragrances.

To plough the weeds out

Would take all my intellect's nuances.

Pray hard for me, mother,

O angel, who brought me to this world,

I bring with me another fairy

to start afresh in the universe old.