kuch khayal

आज कुछ अजीब सा ख्याल आया है
ऐ खुदा तुने मुझे क्यों बनाया है


जहाँ तलक नज़रें फेरता हूँ मैं
सिर्फ दर्द और दुश्वारियां पाता हूँ मैं
कुछ नाज़ुक से चेहरों पर क्यों
पहाड़ों से ग़म के साए देखता हूँ मैं...


क्यों आज मस्जिदों में जाने से डरता हूँ मैं
क्यों तेरा दीवाना कहलाने से सेहेम्जाता हूँ मैं
झुकता तो हूँ आज भी दिल से सजदों में
फिर भी क्यों तुझे नमाज़ों में नहीं देख पाता हूँ मैं...


आज क्यों दिल में इश्क से ज्यादा नफरत है
जैसे मेरी रगों में खून में पनपती हुई आग है
आज क्यों हाथ उठाने से पहले नहीं सोच पाता हूँ में
कि मेरे सामने, ऐ खुदा, तेरी ही बनाई हुई एक पाक ज़ात है..


आज कुछ अजीब सा ख्याल आया हैं
ऐ खुदा, तुने मुझे क्यों बनाया है...

ek aur koshish

क्यों न टपक ने दूँ इन् आसूँओको
क्यों मैं इन्नका एहतराम करूँ
यही तो है जो मुझे मेरे रब्ब के करीब ले जाते हैं...

i want to breathe again

Teach me to breathe again, like I did a long time ago,
A child in the reckless breeze, all worries who did forego.
As my arms cushioned the air below, my legs had a different sprint,
While life seemed to go so slow, my eyes showed a mischievous tint.
I lived without a thought to spare, so much joy in me I had,
As I pursued to be such good, as shall no one call me “bad”.
The gentle hug of my mother, a naughty nudge from my dad,
A brother, who loves so much, never could see me so sad.
Sitting alone, was so much blissful, loneliness never crept nearby,
Not like today, being so alone while cribbing the world to be “sly”.
I yearn to be so young again; I yearn to be so young again,
Run along in the same reckless breeze, to forget all my pain.

why???

In the periphery of my cognition,
There resides a recurring rendition,
In what lies my differentiation?
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
A world of very weird visualization,
This pride in one’s erudition,
Rejoicing in a banal situation,
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
These demanding souls need a little sensitization,
A spared thought for all this deprivation,
In the search to re-enact the golden civilization,
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
A dream’s worthless externalization
Of greed’s fanatic internalization
Joy somewhere lies in privation
In pursuit of commonality of ambition.

present to my past and future

In a distant past
I could feel the words inside me
I could sense the rhythm and sing
I could enjoy most, with just me.

In the farthest future
I would dream unendingly to live
I would love and pray to thrive
I would earn a fortune to give.

It all seems nonexistent today
In my feelings no warmth does stay
I seem so lost from my own
To my own self, am scared to say.

The past seems to haunt my tomorrow
Or is it just my pondering sorrow?
As I step into my days ahead
I seem to be stuck in a frightening furrow.

the change in me...

I never felt it coming
I never saw it happening
Its loud footsteps... ... never indulged... my hearing.
The world cried around me
The skies were torn around to see
For all that had been... ... I thought... it just had to be.
In the gaping eyes that live here
The forbidden smiles scream somewhere
These took me to a distant land... ... none of my known... there.
I now feel something inside
In my soul does someone else reside
He now leads me astray... ... in my shame... gleams its pride.
I kneel today to him
With grief filled till the brim
I realize how change feels... ... around a torn soul... a tattered seam.

it is cruel to dare to dream

It seems cruel even to dare to dream
Where rage burns alongside hope.

Silence engulfs the din of life
In the serene calm of the night
Under the storm of noises around
Each flame pleads for some light.

In the megapolis of dreams
As each moment seems to grope
In the slow abating breath
I see the corpse of hopeless hope.

What dreams can own these nightmares?
What life can end these lives?
What vision lies in those eyes?
Those eyes which hide all the lies.

It seems too easy for me to hate
As rage begets some rage
I seemed so mature just moments ago
As now each moment begins to age.

I kneel today in front of these
Holy fangs of this world’s trinity
As the creation seems to bow now
To Anguish, despair and uncertainty.

It seems cruel even to dare to dream
Where rage burns alongside hope.

what are you to me?

What are you to me?
I search and wander for this.

I feel you in the warmth of the sun
I feel you in the wetness of water
You caress in the glow of your skin
I feel you in the lightness of this air.

I see you in the azure of the winter sky
I see you in the red of the mellifluous sunset
You are the vision of my living dreams
I see you in the dark of a moonless night.

I talk to you in the voice of silence
I talk to you in the rainbow of a prism
You speak the language of my soul
I talk to you in the sound of our rhythm.

I still search and ponder
What are you to me?

a prayer without a rhythm

I pray from you
With
Knees bent and arms raised
Eyes closed and mind open
Body firm and soul lax

I pray from you
Forgive
My digressions, my life
My improper list of choices
My selfless list of sins.

I pray from you
Bestow
Grace of which all you command
Honour when I shall meet you
Love as that you wish me to have.

I pray from you
Consider
The tears I hid deep beneath
The shame my eyes close within
The torment, the fire around my spirit.

I pray from you
Beautify
The life you gave me
The dreams I wish to see
The death I would love to die.

I pray from you,
I pray from you,
I pray from you,
O Lord, do not throw these worthless words,
These are all I have as I pray from you.

death and despair

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

The silent screams of the dead
And the darkened lights of the grave
Pinch somewhere my numb soul
Being a coward makes me feel so brave.

All these souls soaked in blood
These eyes blinded by a gory din
Push forth my conscience in the open
And mask it with a darkly sheen.

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

The sky becomes a grayish shade
With the clouds being painted red
As death rains a crimson shower
A lonely hope dreams of death instead.

Fear proclaims its promised land
And wins over each flailing heart
Life sags behind a dark curtain
And wonders, from where shall it begin a start.

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

meaningless pursuit

I try so hard with the will of my heart
In my dreams, a novel ambition does start
My spherical aura is stretched to be oblong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

In those silken eyes that glare at me
I focus so hard for a vision to see
I am smitten by her aspiration so strong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

As I clear the smog of my worthless life
In dust lies glorious hatred’s ambitious strife
I leave far behind the lap where I belong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

The lines on the forehead conceal a tale
One which my heart found hard to tell
My mind conceives a journey not long
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

I feel the stalemate around

I feel the stalemate around
The suffocated air
Each soul’s despair
In each slow breath
Inebriated death
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
In each heart, a tired beat
Trying to run with clumsy feet
Falls with flailing arms
To hope’s hapless charms
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
In each scheme’s victory
A life pleads a pitiful sorry
Behind each tale of grit and glory
Cry millions, each with a morbid story
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
As even the death grows slow
Life appears to go down with a bow
As the stage seems to be set
Why does still my life regret?
I feel the stalemate around…

i think of you

Riding the silence of the night
I sit alone and think of you,
I wish to write some moments
The ones I did spend with you.
The glorious sunrises,
The magnificent sunsets,
The cloudy afternoons,
With each my life relates.
The bright halo behind the shadow
Of the sun in the farthest east,
Reminds me your wet face
Covered with innocence’s mist.
As the sun hides beneath
The orange glow of the night,
I think of your smile’s effort
To hide behind with all the might.
Why is it I remember you now?
Is it because you seem to be afar?
Is this more of a dream to dare?
Are you worth for each my scar?
All the moments we had
Melt my life in a drop,
I think of you with each breath
And pray for this heartbeat to stop.
Riding the silence of the night
I sit alone and think of you,
I wish to write some moments
The ones I did spend with you.

the eyes in the valley

Different eyes
Say the same story
In each lies
Dream’s death and glory.

Tiny sparkle of hope
Resides inside each tear
Their silent prayers
Now too hard for me to bear.

Cruelty for justice
Has found its lasting reign
Hatred smirks in my face
On each smile, love does feign.

As the lips turn mum
The bullets begin to bark
In the valley of peace
I am forced to see a picture dark.

I want to walk out
O brother, to soothe your soul
Hold you tight with love
And heal each bleeding hole.

I will stand by you
To fight the bearded bastards
The ash laden scoundrels
The sons of lethargic retards.

Different eyes
Say the same story
In each lies
Dream’s death and glory.

@ 35000 feet

As I gently glide up the skies
As the whining looses itself into a calm
I look outside the window of the tube
And dream to touch the cloud with my arm...
I wish to walk softly through this mist
As the water shall seep into my feet
I shall loiter and caper around here
My kingdom, where I want to reign, at 35000 feet....
Every reason shall I have from here
To look down upon the ruthless world
Far away from the bustling metropolis
Far away from the inhuman unworldly world....
In the laps of these heavenly billows
My spirit regains its lost soul
I see joy singing along my way
Being alive is the virtue I now extol....
I lie down with my back to the stars
And see the emerald waters below
To all the turbulence and the chaos I see
I exclaim aloud, lie low, lie low!!!....
I ride the breeze as it tries to chill
I feel so light on this chariot of rain
No whoosh, no thump, no noise I feel
As I seem to run far away from pain....
I close my eyes and live this dream
A thud, a jump and the tube descends
I am back to the world I don’t want to see
My spirit sags back as again the pain ascends....

the drops...

As a desperate wait before each breath I take,
It makes me wonder, my life, is it a mistake?
Scurrying along from an early morn to a late eve,
Gently, my life oozes out, of the soul’s fine sieve.

The drops that trickle at the end of the day,
Some moments in them reside and forever stay.
I regret to have lost my life in them,
And none but me, is to be there, to blame.

I crave to reach the lap that cares for me,
The longing eyes back home wait for me,
I see my maa as she cooks a simple dinner,
This illusion leaves my soul, a little cleaner.

I want to repay, I want to repay, my soul’s sacrifice
As each day, it died a death on the precipice.
And left me hanging to enjoy this worldly dream
In this world of phantoms, am a sarcophagus’s scream.

As a desperate wait before each breath I take,
It makes me wonder, my life, is it a mistake?
Scurrying along from an early morn to a late eve,
Gently, my life oozes out of the soul’s fine sieve.

o honey,, real sweet honey

I left for my office on a bright sunny day
The wind told me it was wonderful May,
I wished to find a meadow to let myself lay
And have you in my arms, as I had something to say.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am a nanny,
O honey… real sweet honey.

In the spring of my walk my love did show
I felt like the candle a storm couldn’t blow
As I bounced around on the ground below
The whole world seemed to be going so slow.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am a lovable pony,
O honey… real sweet honey.

The birds felt jealous of the song I sang
I tried very hard to hide my nasal twang
The cow booed me with moo like a slang
As the big bell of the church, for me rang.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am little bit Looney,
O honey… real sweet honey.

The sun seemed to burn looking at me
In his own bright light, I think he couldn’t see
I wanted to take you for a cup of tea
As the whole world watches, we both shall flee.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am George Clooney.
O honey… real sweet honey.

early morning dream

Early morning
When the sun opens his eyes
And the air begins to breath
A new Me never rises up
To break open a gloomy sheath.

As I walk
Through the crowd
And face the sun in the eye
My mind wanders to a place faraway
A thought seems to pass nearby.

All this
This razzmatazz of the world
The hustle and the hurry
Where is all leading me?
To earn, a haunting glory?

As I sit
In this shack of artificial dreams
As life somewhere hides
The tears seem to run dry
As each hope somewhere dies.

I cannot
Gather the strength to stand up
And walk away from all this
It seems, My limbs cannot bear
The burden of a heavenly bliss.

wisdom

I seem to be awake
As lazily I rise
Riding fast, this thin air
I seem to be so wise.
Searching the end of light
At the tip of my myopic vision
Faraway in the distance
Is the realm of dreamy decision?
I close my eyes to focus
But a haze is all I find
Even with eyes wide open
To all I appear so blind.
As my heart beats so fast
As sweat breaks through the skin
I try to calm my fragile self
This is neither doom nor din.
I wish to sleep off again
And let me live the dream
Why return to this world?
So unworldly to me does it seem.
I seem to be awake
As lazily I rise
Riding fast, this thin air
I dream to be no wise.

i dream

Catch me in a dream
When you close your eyes,
Chase my shadow on the cloud
As this happy moment flies.
Let the clouds cover me
When you peep through the sun,
In those hot scalding look of yours
Let my poor spirit of love burn.
Stretch your arms wide
To pluck out the dim stars,
Sprinkle their dust on my face
Make me worthy of your dreamy stares.
Tie me with your loose locks
As I try to hide away in the day,
Make me stay silent with you
As each smile has something beautiful to say.