pursuing-surrealism

kuch khayal

2010-02-03T23:24:00.001+05:30

आज कुछ अजीब सा ख्याल आया है
ऐ खुदा तुने मुझे क्यों बनाया है

जहाँ तलक नज़रें फेरता हूँ मैं
सिर्फ दर्द और दुश्वारियां पाता हूँ मैं
कुछ नाज़ुक से चेहरों पर क्यों
पहाड़ों से ग़म के साए देखता हूँ मैं...

क्यों आज मस्जिदों में जाने से डरता हूँ मैं
क्यों तेरा दीवाना कहलाने से सेहेम्जाता हूँ मैं
झुकता तो हूँ आज भी दिल से सजदों में
फिर भी क्यों तुझे नमाज़ों में नहीं देख पाता हूँ मैं...

आज क्यों दिल में इश्क से ज्यादा नफरत है
जैसे मेरी रगों में खून में पनपती हुई आग है
आज क्यों हाथ उठाने से पहले नहीं सोच पाता हूँ में
कि मेरे सामने, ऐ खुदा, तेरी ही बनाई हुई एक पाक ज़ात है..

आज कुछ अजीब सा ख्याल आया हैं
ऐ खुदा, तुने मुझे क्यों बनाया है...

ek aur koshish

2010-01-26T02:02:00.000+05:30

क्यों न टपक ने दूँ इन् आसूँओको
क्यों मैं इन्नका एहतराम करूँ
यही तो है जो मुझे मेरे रब्ब के करीब ले जाते हैं...

i want to breathe again

2009-07-27T21:37:00.000+05:30

Teach me to breathe again, like I did a long time ago,
A child in the reckless breeze, all worries who did forego.
As my arms cushioned the air below, my legs had a different sprint,
While life seemed to go so slow, my eyes showed a mischievous tint.
I lived without a thought to spare, so much joy in me I had,
As I pursued to be such good, as shall no one call me “bad”.
The gentle hug of my mother, a naughty nudge from my dad,
A brother, who loves so much, never could see me so sad.
Sitting alone, was so much blissful, loneliness never crept nearby,
Not like today, being so alone while cribbing the world to be “sly”.
I yearn to be so young again; I yearn to be so young again,
Run along in the same reckless breeze, to forget all my pain.

why???

2009-06-17T22:57:00.002+05:30

In the periphery of my cognition,
There resides a recurring rendition,
In what lies my differentiation?
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
A world of very weird visualization,
This pride in one’s erudition,
Rejoicing in a banal situation,
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
These demanding souls need a little sensitization,
A spared thought for all this deprivation,
In the search to re-enact the golden civilization,
Why suffer this commonality of ambition?
A dream’s worthless externalization
Of greed’s fanatic internalization
Joy somewhere lies in privation
In pursuit of commonality of ambition.

present to my past and future

2009-04-28T23:53:00.000+05:30

In a distant past
I could feel the words inside me
I could sense the rhythm and sing
I could enjoy most, with just me.

In the farthest future
I would dream unendingly to live
I would love and pray to thrive
I would earn a fortune to give.

It all seems nonexistent today
In my feelings no warmth does stay
I seem so lost from my own
To my own self, am scared to say.

The past seems to haunt my tomorrow
Or is it just my pondering sorrow?
As I step into my days ahead
I seem to be stuck in a frightening furrow.

the change in me...

2008-12-07T02:39:00.003+05:30

I never felt it coming
I never saw it happening
Its loud footsteps... ... never indulged... my hearing.
The world cried around me
The skies were torn around to see
For all that had been... ... I thought... it just had to be.
In the gaping eyes that live here
The forbidden smiles scream somewhere
These took me to a distant land... ... none of my known... there.
I now feel something inside
In my soul does someone else reside
He now leads me astray... ... in my shame... gleams its pride.
I kneel today to him
With grief filled till the brim
I realize how change feels... ... around a torn soul... a tattered seam.

it is cruel to dare to dream

2008-11-29T13:45:00.002+05:30

It seems cruel even to dare to dream
Where rage burns alongside hope.

Silence engulfs the din of life
In the serene calm of the night
Under the storm of noises around
Each flame pleads for some light.

In the megapolis of dreams
As each moment seems to grope
In the slow abating breath
I see the corpse of hopeless hope.

What dreams can own these nightmares?
What life can end these lives?
What vision lies in those eyes?
Those eyes which hide all the lies.

It seems too easy for me to hate
As rage begets some rage
I seemed so mature just moments ago
As now each moment begins to age.

I kneel today in front of these
Holy fangs of this world’s trinity
As the creation seems to bow now
To Anguish, despair and uncertainty.

It seems cruel even to dare to dream
Where rage burns alongside hope.

what are you to me?

2008-10-12T10:48:00.003+05:30

What are you to me?
I search and wander for this.

I feel you in the warmth of the sun
I feel you in the wetness of water
You caress in the glow of your skin
I feel you in the lightness of this air.

I see you in the azure of the winter sky
I see you in the red of the mellifluous sunset
You are the vision of my living dreams
I see you in the dark of a moonless night.

I talk to you in the voice of silence
I talk to you in the rainbow of a prism
You speak the language of my soul
I talk to you in the sound of our rhythm.

I still search and ponder
What are you to me?

a prayer without a rhythm

2008-10-12T08:46:00.001+05:30

I pray from you
With
Knees bent and arms raised
Eyes closed and mind open
Body firm and soul lax

I pray from you
Forgive
My digressions, my life
My improper list of choices
My selfless list of sins.

I pray from you
Bestow
Grace of which all you command
Honour when I shall meet you
Love as that you wish me to have.

I pray from you
Consider
The tears I hid deep beneath
The shame my eyes close within
The torment, the fire around my spirit.

I pray from you
Beautify
The life you gave me
The dreams I wish to see
The death I would love to die.

I pray from you,
I pray from you,
I pray from you,
O Lord, do not throw these worthless words,
These are all I have as I pray from you.

death and despair

2008-10-01T00:30:00.002+05:30

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

The silent screams of the dead
And the darkened lights of the grave
Pinch somewhere my numb soul
Being a coward makes me feel so brave.

All these souls soaked in blood
These eyes blinded by a gory din
Push forth my conscience in the open
And mask it with a darkly sheen.

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

The sky becomes a grayish shade
With the clouds being painted red
As death rains a crimson shower
A lonely hope dreams of death instead.

Fear proclaims its promised land
And wins over each flailing heart
Life sags behind a dark curtain
And wonders, from where shall it begin a start.

As this world lies beyond repair
I wonder what is obvious but death and despair.

meaningless pursuit

2008-08-29T11:03:00.001+05:30

I try so hard with the will of my heart
In my dreams, a novel ambition does start
My spherical aura is stretched to be oblong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

In those silken eyes that glare at me
I focus so hard for a vision to see
I am smitten by her aspiration so strong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

As I clear the smog of my worthless life
In dust lies glorious hatred’s ambitious strife
I leave far behind the lap where I belong
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

The lines on the forehead conceal a tale
One which my heart found hard to tell
My mind conceives a journey not long
In my meaningless pursuit of a soulful song.

I feel the stalemate around

2008-08-29T09:38:00.000+05:30

I feel the stalemate around
The suffocated air
Each soul’s despair
In each slow breath
Inebriated death
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
In each heart, a tired beat
Trying to run with clumsy feet
Falls with flailing arms
To hope’s hapless charms
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
In each scheme’s victory
A life pleads a pitiful sorry
Behind each tale of grit and glory
Cry millions, each with a morbid story
I feel the stalemate around…

I feel the stalemate around
As even the death grows slow
Life appears to go down with a bow
As the stage seems to be set
Why does still my life regret?
I feel the stalemate around…

i think of you

2008-08-17T00:09:00.002+05:30

Riding the silence of the night
I sit alone and think of you,
I wish to write some moments
The ones I did spend with you.
The glorious sunrises,
The magnificent sunsets,
The cloudy afternoons,
With each my life relates.
The bright halo behind the shadow
Of the sun in the farthest east,
Reminds me your wet face
Covered with innocence’s mist.
As the sun hides beneath
The orange glow of the night,
I think of your smile’s effort
To hide behind with all the might.
Why is it I remember you now?
Is it because you seem to be afar?
Is this more of a dream to dare?
Are you worth for each my scar?
All the moments we had
Melt my life in a drop,
I think of you with each breath
And pray for this heartbeat to stop.
Riding the silence of the night
I sit alone and think of you,
I wish to write some moments
The ones I did spend with you.

the eyes in the valley

2008-08-15T23:01:00.001+05:30

Different eyes
Say the same story
In each lies
Dream’s death and glory.

Tiny sparkle of hope
Resides inside each tear
Their silent prayers
Now too hard for me to bear.

Cruelty for justice
Has found its lasting reign
Hatred smirks in my face
On each smile, love does feign.

As the lips turn mum
The bullets begin to bark
In the valley of peace
I am forced to see a picture dark.

I want to walk out
O brother, to soothe your soul
Hold you tight with love
And heal each bleeding hole.

I will stand by you
To fight the bearded bastards
The ash laden scoundrels
The sons of lethargic retards.

Different eyes
Say the same story
In each lies
Dream’s death and glory.

@ 35000 feet

2008-07-11T04:22:00.002+05:30

As I gently glide up the skies
As the whining looses itself into a calm
I look outside the window of the tube
And dream to touch the cloud with my arm...
I wish to walk softly through this mist
As the water shall seep into my feet
I shall loiter and caper around here
My kingdom, where I want to reign, at 35000 feet....
Every reason shall I have from here
To look down upon the ruthless world
Far away from the bustling metropolis
Far away from the inhuman unworldly world....
In the laps of these heavenly billows
My spirit regains its lost soul
I see joy singing along my way
Being alive is the virtue I now extol....
I lie down with my back to the stars
And see the emerald waters below
To all the turbulence and the chaos I see
I exclaim aloud, lie low, lie low!!!....
I ride the breeze as it tries to chill
I feel so light on this chariot of rain
No whoosh, no thump, no noise I feel
As I seem to run far away from pain....
I close my eyes and live this dream
A thud, a jump and the tube descends
I am back to the world I don’t want to see
My spirit sags back as again the pain ascends....

the drops...

2008-05-23T09:27:00.001+05:30

As a desperate wait before each breath I take,
It makes me wonder, my life, is it a mistake?
Scurrying along from an early morn to a late eve,
Gently, my life oozes out, of the soul’s fine sieve.

The drops that trickle at the end of the day,
Some moments in them reside and forever stay.
I regret to have lost my life in them,
And none but me, is to be there, to blame.

I crave to reach the lap that cares for me,
The longing eyes back home wait for me,
I see my maa as she cooks a simple dinner,
This illusion leaves my soul, a little cleaner.

I want to repay, I want to repay, my soul’s sacrifice
As each day, it died a death on the precipice.
And left me hanging to enjoy this worldly dream
In this world of phantoms, am a sarcophagus’s scream.

As a desperate wait before each breath I take,
It makes me wonder, my life, is it a mistake?
Scurrying along from an early morn to a late eve,
Gently, my life oozes out of the soul’s fine sieve.

o honey,, real sweet honey

2008-04-01T08:52:00.000+05:30

I left for my office on a bright sunny day
The wind told me it was wonderful May,
I wished to find a meadow to let myself lay
And have you in my arms, as I had something to say.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am a nanny,
O honey… real sweet honey.

In the spring of my walk my love did show
I felt like the candle a storm couldn’t blow
As I bounced around on the ground below
The whole world seemed to be going so slow.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am a lovable pony,
O honey… real sweet honey.

The birds felt jealous of the song I sang
I tried very hard to hide my nasal twang
The cow booed me with moo like a slang
As the big bell of the church, for me rang.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am little bit Looney,
O honey… real sweet honey.

The sun seemed to burn looking at me
In his own bright light, I think he couldn’t see
I wanted to take you for a cup of tea
As the whole world watches, we both shall flee.

O honey… real sweet honey,
I love you like am George Clooney.
O honey… real sweet honey.

early morning dream

2008-03-14T09:54:00.000+05:30

Early morning
When the sun opens his eyes
And the air begins to breath
A new Me never rises up
To break open a gloomy sheath.

As I walk
Through the crowd
And face the sun in the eye
My mind wanders to a place faraway
A thought seems to pass nearby.

All this
This razzmatazz of the world
The hustle and the hurry
Where is all leading me?
To earn, a haunting glory?

As I sit
In this shack of artificial dreams
As life somewhere hides
The tears seem to run dry
As each hope somewhere dies.

I cannot
Gather the strength to stand up
And walk away from all this
It seems, My limbs cannot bear
The burden of a heavenly bliss.

wisdom

2008-03-04T23:50:00.005+05:30

I seem to be awake
As lazily I rise
Riding fast, this thin air
I seem to be so wise.
Searching the end of light
At the tip of my myopic vision
Faraway in the distance
Is the realm of dreamy decision?
I close my eyes to focus
But a haze is all I find
Even with eyes wide open
To all I appear so blind.
As my heart beats so fast
As sweat breaks through the skin
I try to calm my fragile self
This is neither doom nor din.
I wish to sleep off again
And let me live the dream
Why return to this world?
So unworldly to me does it seem.
I seem to be awake
As lazily I rise
Riding fast, this thin air
I dream to be no wise.

i dream

2008-03-03T12:34:00.001+05:30

Catch me in a dream
When you close your eyes,
Chase my shadow on the cloud
As this happy moment flies.
Let the clouds cover me
When you peep through the sun,
In those hot scalding look of yours
Let my poor spirit of love burn.
Stretch your arms wide
To pluck out the dim stars,
Sprinkle their dust on my face
Make me worthy of your dreamy stares.
Tie me with your loose locks
As I try to hide away in the day,
Make me stay silent with you
As each smile has something beautiful to say.

as the moment draws near

2007-12-24T13:11:00.000+05:30

As the moment draws near
It all appears so clear
The journey that you take now
Only leads to me somehow.

I wait with all this love
Praying to heavens above
Dry are my longing eyes
In them my heart crys.

As the moment draws near
It all appears so clear
The journey that you take now
Only leads to me somehow.

As this outstretched arm aches
Fighting to keep the stakes
To hold you close my dear
And bring you as much near.

As the moment draws near
It all appears so clear
The journey that you take now
Only leads to me somehow.

I wish to say something more
And make our story a folk lore
But then I give it all up
As my life your memories usurp.

As the moment draws near
It all appears so clear
The journey that you take now
Only leads to me somehow.

this calm night

2007-12-24T00:36:00.000+05:30

In the middle of this calm night,
I wish to have you in my sight,
Embrace you with all my might,
And liberate me of all my plight.

Tonight it may not seem all right,
As I hold you so close, so tight,
In a moment's fleeting flight,
Living forever, in this calm night.

Let us reach a glorious height,
At the end of this calm night,
To achieve a form so light,
To rule this one calm night.

In the middle of this calm night,
I wish to have you in my sight,
Embrace you with all my might,
And liberate me of all my plight.

reasons

2007-12-18T23:43:00.000+05:30

I close my eyes
And think of you
To write a poem
Just for you…
I see you flying
As I open my arms,
As if giving in
To my foolish charms…
I see you smiling
To my stupid anecdotes
In the stream of my voice
As your soft form floats…
I see you dancing
In the rhythm of our love
As a soft blush rises
My self recedes into a cove…
I see you by my side
In this journey of fire and ice
Believe all what I say
As if for truth, my words suffice…
I open my eyes
And still think of you
As if I need reasons
To just love you.

The green eyed monster

2007-12-09T00:14:00.000+05:30

The air feels heavy
As it settles in each lung,
I pull my breath up
As it settles in each lung.
What is this happening?
What event is occurring?
Is this the green eyed monster?
Which, around me is fastening?

I watch amused
As my spirit is flung,
I hear a whimper
As my spirit is flung.
What is this happening?
What event is occurring?
Is this the green eyed monster?
Which, around me is fastening?

Destiny does a dance
As a bleak oracle is sung,
Future lies desolate
As a bleak oracle is sung.
What is this happening?
What event is occurring?
Is this the green eyed monster?
Which, around me is fastening?

With a poison dart
Is my soul being stung?
I feel so jealous
Is my soul being stung?
What is this happening?
What event is occurring?
Is this the green eyed monster?
Which, around me is fastening?

jealousy

2007-12-08T23:44:00.000+05:30

When eyes feel numb
Eyelids heavy,
I am on a high
A state of ecstasy,
I try to figure out
Is this jealousy?

As she smiles
With a stranger,
I seem to drift
A little farther.

As she converses
With a friend,
As in each moment
I see my end.

As her soft gestures
Express themselves,
I tremble with a fear,
Me, being torn in halves.

As she stands
Innocent and pure,
My soul recedes,
Feeling, so insecure.

When eyes feel numb
Eyelids heavy,
I am on a high
A state of ecstasy,
I try to figure out
Is this jealousy?

i go up in smoke

2007-11-15T10:23:00.001+05:30

Slowly, gently,
Rising in the stale air,
Relinquishing my claim on life,
I go up in smoke.

What is that burns me?
Is it the dream in my eyes?
Is it the vision of my heart?
Or is it, just my old plain lies.

What is that burns me?
Is it the faith of my soul?
Is it the belief of my being?
Or is it, just luck crying foul.

What is that burns me?
Is it the trust to which I bow?
Is it the feelings I beget?
Or is it, just love, which abandons me now.

Slowly, gently,
Rising in the stale air,
Relinquishing my claim on life,
I go up in smoke.

my worthless gift

2007-11-05T22:31:00.000+05:30

As the rays of the morning sun
Break the barrier of the night,
I bring to you this worthless gift
With all my soul’s ensuing might.
These flowers in my hand
Soft and wet with morning dew
In each waft of their fragrance
Floats my love with a crimson hue.
Hold these gentle children of nature
As they breathe their last in your palms,
Cradle them softly with all your care
Guide them to eternal sleep in your arms.
As the smile on their faces fades
As the soul of theirs smoothly recedes,
An innocent prayer slips through my lips
I wish my love with you, with you, only succeeds.
As the rays of the morning sun
Break the barrier of the night,
I bring to you this worthless gift
With all my soul’s ensuing might.

the real me in me

2007-10-27T14:57:00.000+05:30

Who resides in these tears?
These tears hidden in my eyes.
What pain oozes in this hurt?
A hurt, as each breath cries.
I guess, it is the real me in me.
Yeah, it is the real me in me.

Nourished by the dreams
In life’s flowing streams
As it grew along with me
One whom only I can see
Gasping for fresh air
Hapless to me does it stare,
Coaxing me to see
It’s the real me in me.
I guess, it is the real me in me.
Yeah, it is the real me in me.

Punished by his own
Famished, it lies torn
His luck today in tatters
To none now he matters
Hope relinquished his luck
Only miseries does he pluck
Sobbing it begs me
It is the real me in me.
I guess, it is the real me in me.
Yeah, it is the real me in me.

Who resides in these tears?
These tears hidden in my eyes.
What pain oozes in this hurt?
A hurt, as each breath cries.
I guess, it is the real me in me.
Yeah, it is the real me in me.

do guide me through

2007-10-02T03:24:00.000+05:30

It seems today
I love someone more than you
Still I dare to beg
O god, please guide me through.
So many emotions
Stand in front of me, tall.
As weak knees of mine
In front of you, fall.
I search my own soul
As to what is right or wrong
I feel so alone
As my loved ones do throng.
A fog covers my mind
As a mist veils my eyes
You claim to be the Truth
While my spirit somewhere dies.
I might not feel today
As a heart still beats for you.
In my lusterless specter
You are still the crimson hue.
It seems today
I love someone more than you
Still I dare to beg
O god, please guide me through.

as i lay dead there

2007-08-02T12:57:00.000+05:30

Sweet smelling tarmac
Softened by raining water
Eyes gazing up the sky
I smile, as I lay dead there.
Blood leaving my body
Soul slowly oozing off
I finally find freedom
On life, I finally scoff.
I hear the earthly sounds
As my noise abates
Lived through all this hell
I find myself on heavens’ gates.
Lights disappears somewhere
I find peace in ensuing dark
Between my future and the past
I now see a difference stark.
I have cast my fragile sails

To scurry away to joy
I find bliss in my death
I last felt such, when a little boy.
As my servile heart
Readies to glorify God
No apprehension around
I escape this flimsy abode.
Sweet smelling tarmac
Softened by raining water
Eyes gazing up the sky
I smile, as I lay dead there.

rain!!!!

2007-07-29T18:53:00.000+05:30

I wish to talk to God
My tears, a tribute to Him
In all the beauty, He is lost
I want a meaning in his scheme.
He hears my heart pounding
And sends me rain as I say,
Am I worthy in front of Him?
Does he know what I pray?
In these drops from the sky
I see my life in this rain,
Thrust away from the heavens
Skies weeping with some pain.
Smiling all along this descent,
Weightless drops of rain,
Scatter upon the ground beneath,
Oblivion, is all they gain.
As they ride this humid air
These fragile drops of rain
Loosing their souls clean
They carry a hidden stain.
My tears find their soulmates
In these fleeting drops of rain,
Help me to try and live
To God I shall pray again.

why am I a donkey?

2007-07-23T15:44:00.000+05:30

In me, a tail do you see?
I don’t know,
I really don’t know,
why am I called a donkey?

For you,
Maybe I am too servile,
With you,
I appear so fragile,
Hit me hard
Try to make me agile,
I appear dumb
Coz I don’t have much guile.

Just coz I am not a lot tricky
O girl, You decide to call me donkey.

Try me out,
Don’t on me you shout,
Twitch my ears,
For me, each one swears,
I know it’s hard
Its so damn hard
To make the world see
How tough it’s to be a donkey?

Just coz I am not a lot tricky
O girl, you decide to call me donkey.

where are they leaving?

2007-07-20T16:39:00.000+05:30

Sands in those feet
Of lands long ago left,
Fall off with silence
Numb, emotions bereft.
Bidding me goodbye
As this moment vanishes,
There they go alone
Carrying off my wishes.
Leaving away a breeze
Having in it now no scent,
Fragrances stolen from me
No thought for you shall be lent.
Loneliness finds a new ally
In my dry eyes sadness does hide
As you leave me alone, my Memories,
Now where shall you reside?
Sands in those feet
Of lands long ago left,
Fall off with silence
Numb, emotions bereft.

the walk from the airport

2007-07-16T11:52:00.000+05:30

I yearn said the earth,
Of hope there is a dearth.
In the cloudy morning sky,
I walked to say my good bye.
Dreams are the soul’s only escort,
All my breaths seemed, a little short.

That walk from the airport,
Left my breaths, a little short.

Fun of the days gone before,
Brought the pain to the fore.
Those few moments of love,
In anguish made me bow.
Life appears to be so distort,
With those breaths, a little short.

That walk from the airport,
Left my breaths, a little short.

The gentle drizzle on my face ,
As I walk with a serene pace .
The soft breeze of the dawn ,
As the lazy early morning shone.
Were all fazed, at that airport
Leaving my breaths a little short.

That walk from the airport,
Seems to be my love’s last retort…

why is this????

2007-07-11T15:17:00.000+05:30

Dreams,
Gently floating all around me.
Hope,
Gliding in all eyes as I see.
Imagination,
With spirits flying high here
Desperation,
Asphyxiated in the last tear.

Why is this all so like this?
Why something we all do miss?
Why is that we crave so much?
Why is that life seems such?

Love,
It seems now not worth dying for.
Care,
We have lost all, none in store.
Strength,
The thing we feign to have much.
Life,
Seems numb, without the ephemeral touch.

Why is this all so like this?
Why something we all do miss?
Why is that we crave so much?
Why is that life seems such?

God,
Lying idle in an atheist’s thought.
Pleasure,
Each soul seems to have much bought.
Greed,
In each breath we all have in abundance.
Faith,
With each betrayal, gains credence.

Why is this all so like this?
Why something we all do miss?
Why is that we crave so much?
Why isthat life seems such?

traffic on this highway

2007-07-06T10:35:00.000+05:30

Silence crawling around
The crowds seem to be disbursing
I watch with numb eyes
My soul is tired screaming.

This cramped road
Never seems to end
Whenever I try to cross it
It nears a worthless bend.
Moving fast, this highway
Traffic, all in its glory
Each soul holds its sway
Nobody ever feels sorry.

Silence crawling around
The crowds seem to be disbursing
I watch with numb eyes
My soul is tired screaming.

Open arms stretched over
I wait for that joy to come
With eyes looking up the sky
I doubt what love has become?
Kneeling down with bowed head
Tears flowing fast and cold
I want to end this daily fight
In her arms, let me be bold.

Silence crawling around
The crowds seem to be disbursing
I watch with numb eyes
My soul is tired screaming.

Menthol.....

2007-06-12T09:48:00.000+05:30

The soft silky eyes
The flowing glowing hair
Light as if she would fly off
With this sweet smelling air
When I met her today
The love of my life
It made me recollect
“It cuts like a knife”.
The blue of her eyes
Sends a chill in my spine
I get a reason to be me
Brilliance with all the shine
I keep shouting to all
With each breath’s fall
This world seems a football, well…..
She reminds me of….menthol.

Internal aberration
My love, in imagination
I want to sit with you
And strike a conversation.
Let me talk of love
Let us discuss life
Prying for a gentle touch
Would like to be my wife?
It isn’t an abrupt proposition
Just a whimsical composition
Let our fates play juxtaposition
And face the divine consternation.
Should I now clarify it all?
O my sweet darling, my Barbie doll,
Without you this world seems a football,
And you,
Yeah, its you, who remind me of….menthol….

why this divide?

2007-05-25T10:13:00.001+05:30

I cry for being so alone

Where has brotherly love gone? ...

Pervasive in the cold morning air

The scent of this world’s despair

Exhilaration of the persistent divide

Where does in my land unity abide?

I cry for being so alone

Where has brotherly love gone? ...

Shouting with bleeding lungs

Spreading the message of hate

Drowning the last wave of sanity

This tsunami, will it ever abate?

I cry for being so alone

Where has brotherly love gone? ...

A young soul with a wide eye

Listens to his father’s desperate cries

Humanity sheltered in the arms

In being inhuman, courage today lies.

I cry for being so alone

Where has after all brotherly love gone? ...

To which group shall I belong?

I have been orphaned all along.

Among these, whose brother shall I be?

Only strangers in my brotherhood I see.

I cry for being so alone

Where has after all brotherly love gone? ...

I stand again

2007-05-24T17:08:00.000+05:30

I stand again
I stand again
Being at the bottom of the well
In my heart a rebel does swell
Finally I like my pain
I stand again
I stand again.
Head beating hard
Soul feels like lard
Desperate to walk
Dreams nearby stalk
They struggle to pull me up
Kingdoms of heaven I usurp
Finally I love what I gain
I stand again
I stand again.
Voices stumble in my ears
Feeling as if dead for years
In eyes oscillates vision
Of a falling worldly prison
Prayers float on my lips
Despondency somewhere slips
Finally I clear this stain
I stand again
I stand again.

longing

2007-05-23T16:53:00.000+05:30

On long-nights
All alone by the door
I sit still
Pondering on the floor…

Some thoughts
Slowly creep into my eyes
Uneasy feelings
Worried about how time dies….

Days pass-by
Paying no attention to me
In such moments
You, only you, I long to see…

Tears arise
In my eyes, raise their head again
Heart beats
Left with no strength to bear pain…

Gloom surrounds
Loneliness is the only company I keep
Dreams perish
As I lie down for my deprived sleep…

Breaths muffle
Whispering the ecstasy they have
In their rhythm
Your memories do they save.

Without you
Each minute is a silent strife
I realize now
Your worth in my deprecated life.

thoughts

2007-05-20T00:57:00.000+05:30

Sitting alone in this room
I wonder as to what to think
The little talk of yesterday
Lingers with an ignominious stink.

We expect a life together
In spite of all our troubles
Vision of a castle of dreams,
Why is it that lies in rubbles?
Is it normal to face these
All these, in love we have,
In each promise of love my love,
To you, travails only did I gave?
Am I that unfortunate one,
Who is an attaint to love,
I wish to answer these,
No help from up above.

All this buzz of being in love,
Of life just an extended embrace,
Is it that it was just a talk?
When what lies ahead is disgrace.
In your eyes today I see,
A storm of tormenting doubts,
What bothers you now?
Is it just my eccentric bouts?
The cold air of last night
Still makes my breath feel tight
The silence of the dark sky
Wonders why I still appear so bright?

Sitting alone in this room
I wonder as to what to think
The little talk of yesterday
Lingers with an ignominious stink.

a weak love

2007-05-18T14:29:00.000+05:30

Should I say that thing to you?
Something I had hid from you.
Deep in my heart it laid buried,
It is the thing that kept me worried.
It is the thing that bothers me now,
I don’t know when to say, and say how?
………
Should I pour my heart to you?
Should I share my soul with you?
An uncertain future bites into me,
Each moment, only you, I long to see.
I want to hold, the fragile you,
That sweet early morning dew.
………
Should I appear weak to you?
Should I kneel in front of you?
Each heart beats with this belief
You only are my salvation, my relief.
I have longed long to say only this
In your eyes only, lies my bliss.

Me and the farmer

2007-05-13T01:16:00.000+05:30

Vision drowned in the moist eyes,
Existence subdued in half baked lies,
In my revelry today innocence cries,
When a famished farmer silently dies.

Scent of faint success in the air,
Asphyxiates the stench of despair,
As feeble souls now just stare,
In heavens see, a life beyond repair.

Silence shrouds the pitiful smiles,
A scene stretched for faraway miles,
Locked somewhere in meaningless files,
Lies Hope, suffocated, behind all those piles.

In muffled voices out of parched lips,
Each breath’s vigor in small steps slips,
As Life in its ultimate repose sleeps,
I stand dazed, as no brotherly eye weeps?

I start afresh with my moist eyes,
Armed with a bunch of half baked lies,
Who cares what my innocence cries,
I begin to rob, a famished farmer, as he dies.

2007-05-05T00:09:00.000+05:30

The gentle touch of early morning rays
To my heart its subtlety, something says.
Is it human to be so immeasurably weak?
Is it the nature of the mind to be so meek?
In each brave soul that I meet around
Vulnerability somewhere does abound.
Behind the fierce eyes of these warriors
Lay a frail heart subverted by barriers.
This gawky ostentatious show of strength
This hallelujah prolonged to a great length,
In them does lay their hollow victories
Each herd made all of just sentries,
Guarding the façade of their own accord
Illusionary camaraderie with no discord.

Is it human to be so immeasurably weak?
Is it the nature of the mind to be so meek?

the ailments that affix my life

2007-05-04T00:47:00.000+05:30

Bright nights
Blinding lights,
Glaring shadows
Meaty hollows,
Leathery air
Singeing hair,
I wish not to get prolix
So what if life seems in a fix.

Falling stars
Healing scars,
Mighty goals
Weakened souls,
Raising hopes
Lecherous popes,
I wish not to get prolix
So what if life seems in a fix.

Cherubic sneer
Gloomy veneer,
Flailing handshakes
Recurring mistakes,
Servile heavens
Immortal mavens,
I wish not to get prolix
So what if life seems in a fix.

the plight

2007-05-01T00:43:00.000+05:30

The slow hum of silence around
On this warm summer night
Staleness in nature’s breath
Does only exaggerate my plight.

The million stars in the sky
It somehow does not feel right
Gargantuan dark blanket around
Sprinkled with just specks of light.

Shadows fading away gradually
With dilated eyes I have no sight
An anxious gloom looms in the air
Giving my chest, a feeling so tight.

The world has only this to teach,
In Success’s past, lies only Might,
Prudence bowing down to hate
Rendition is a smile’s only blight.

In the eyes of the little child
I now just find an urge to fight
In the storm of death he finds today
Innocence on an ignominious flight.

my early morning walks

2007-04-03T00:59:00.000+05:30

I ponder alone
Where have the days gone?
In them, my past stalks,
Those early morning walks,
Where all the memories pool,
I see, how I went to school?
Those simple dresses,
In sleepy eyes, lots of wishes,
Those small feet,
Clouds of dust, my only fleet,
By smooth silky flowing hair
Annexing the kingdom of air,
In the Innocence of those smiles
I jumped life by a million miles.

The sea swept over the brim,
My heart, torn through the seam,
I want to feel the same again,
Heavy books, were my only pain.
The buzz of the breeze,
The dance of the geese,
Those huge swiveling trees
In my kingdom, lay these.
When Me and God made a pair,
And left others to care.
As all life appeared fair,
I saw no room for despair,
Now, I ponder alone,
Where have those days gone?

i found my life again.......

2007-03-21T08:22:00.000+05:30

In those winding roads of the hill,

In that water, always calm but never still,

In that gentle breeze, the breath of the trees,

In that silence, pierced by the buzzing bees,

I know, I found my life again…….

In those early morning walks I took,

In that beauty, residing behind each nook,

In that fog, clouding my senses away from evil,

In that moment, I saw God but no devil.

I know, I found my life again…….

In those clouds that strolled along with me,

In those peaks, in white heavens they see,

In that sky, azure carpet of my dreams,

In that land, I wish to stay forever, it seems…

Hence, I know, I found my life again…….

it all went away

2007-03-03T02:28:00.000+05:30

In such a hurry,
It all went away , in a flurry.
Time flew by me,
I wish I could see.
The smiles that seem faded,
Colors, those appear jaded.
In the old painting on the wall,
I play with my memories, all.
In such a hurry,
It all went away, in a flurry…….

My friends’ echo in the past,
Their laughter in there, still does last.
Dreams of their got fulfilled,
Prayers that do appear sealed.
Paths which seem to be trodden,
Happiness that is now forbidden.
Feelings, ones which seem lost,
I still measure all their cost.
In such a hurry,
It all went away, in a flurry…….

In the impending future now I see,
What my present shall look to be?
Would I ever feel the same?
Life, today, is just a game?
Was I meant to loose this all?
In love, shall lie, my glorious fall.
Again shall I feel so sorry?
Again shall I crib, it all went away, in a flurry…….

i feel this fall

2007-02-26T18:27:00.000+05:30

Falling down,
In the eyes of love,
The abyss of death.

Hell’s alcove,
I feel this fall,
I feel this fall,
Though it seems very small….

I wish to see
Open my eyes,
The view aint clear.

My fuming ire,
It Clouds my tear,
It clouds my tear,
And I struggle with despair….

Close my wounds,
Heal my heart
Lets again start.

Hold my hand
Pull me through
Pull me through
By love’s magic wand….

Falling down,
In the eyes of love,
The abyss of death.

Hell’s alcove,
I feel the fall
I feel the fall
Though it seems very small….

I feel the fall
I feel the fall…..though it seems very small…..

a dream

2007-02-18T15:25:00.000+05:30

O lady, deep in dreams,
Open your eyes for me.
Waiting beside your floral throne
My desolate soul, you shall see.

A gentle smile crosses your lips
Whilst you enjoy this deep slumber,
I long in moments like this,
In dreams, me, do you remember?

The steady locks of hairs,
Entangling my memoirs within,
Fingers, laboring hard not to touch,
Seek panacea of any carnal sin.

Let the silence encompass you,
Your progenitor’s lovely embrace.
Peace may descend on your spirit,
With a mother’s caring grace.

O lady, deep in dreams,
Open your eyes for me.
Waiting beside your floral throne,
My desolate soul, you shall see.

a story

2007-01-09T03:15:00.000+05:30

let me tell you my story
a story with no worry
a story hard to believe
nothing in it to feel sorry.

an inconsequential speck of dust
i lie on this shiny, glassy plane,
the eyes of the world shine on me
in them i see, nothing but disdain.

the flimsy shade of the fog
on the dark surface of the road,
i lie within the dark world's realm
for me, there isnt a heavenly abode.

the minute squeak of patience
in the enigmatic glory of chaos,
i have lost my existence in here
my each breath this world abhors.

the figment of one's oblivion
in the resplendent eternal glory
i am the art they do
and remember their own past, gory.

let me tell you my story
a story with no worry
a story hard to believe
nothing in it to feel sorry.

in the world of my own

2006-12-21T01:40:00.000+05:30

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

When each has his destiny
Mine lies in tatters,
Like a loser on the road
I am ‘nothing’ who matters.
Words begin with mercy,
Alms in prayers do I get,
Adulation was bestowed
Haplessness I now beget.

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

Crazy do I feel ,
Trying to dream the dream,
Satisfaction would also bleed
Dying away without a scream.
I don’t wanna give away
I don’t wanna run away
I wanna fight it out
I wanna shout it loud.

In the world of my own
I live a life I disown.
Faking a smile on my face
Your world today I face.

when dreams die

2006-10-28T07:51:00.000+05:30

I paint my hopes into nightmarish skies
not tough enough, though difficult,
when a dream, dies.....

I take the strokes with my heart's brush
not worthy enough, though priceless,
as my tearful eyes blush....

I stretch my arms making your world within
not tired enough, though weak,
i search my soul therein....

I picture effortlessly the serene beautiful sunrise
not shining enough, though glorious,
through which your memories arise...

I scamper the colour of those innocent eyes
not blameless enough, though angelic,
in which my whole life lies....

I shall paint for you alone, those celestial skies
not enchanting enough, though sublime,
there shall I watch, as my dream dies...

life's characterization

2006-10-03T05:25:00.000+05:30

In all desperation,
I signify emancipation,
With Unworthy intoxication
Feeling internal coagulation.

All these dejections
Unsaid, unfelt rejections
Boost me like injections
Their dastardly suggestions.

Death’s tantalizations
My soul’s adjudications
Skillful appropriations
Their phony prostrations.

Living on probations
Impending rationalizations
In this world of automations
I signify randomizations.

Reaching finalization
My Breath’s factorization
In a shameful picturization
Of Probing, life’s fictionalization.

Reaching a culmination
Is my grim visualization,
Enforcing mesmerization
Discard this lewd Characterization.

wait....

2006-09-30T05:24:00.000+05:30

its so silent today
like the world is in dismay
i miss you here tonight
each moment a silent fight
sunlight just begins to stream
in it my life seems to beam
i wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

in a distant land you stay
i search that forgone way
in the cuddled care of sleep
you there, in dreams i reap
i hear your breaths tonight
holding you upclose and tight
i wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

i know He sees me from there
glancing my destinies lying bare
I pray from Him to give me you
take my soul in its lieu
i wish you could love as I am
to see some good behind my sham
i, still, wait here with my arms wide
to end this time's divide.

a sinner's prayer

2006-09-08T21:21:00.000+05:30

Words are not there for you
O Lord, but am sure you listen to me
In the rhythm of my heart, for sure
This pain of mine, you do see.
I love you O Lord for all,
For all the blessing you gave to me
I walked against a wish of yours
Am sure you would let it be.
You know all about me, O Lord
All the worldly pleasures that I steal,
But don’t remove me from the faith
I wish on my heart to bear, that holy seal.
Ask the angels to write for me,
Write for me, the water of the sacred stream,
I wish to drink it with my lips
To let my soul be pierced by the holy Beam.
I pray tonight again O Lord
Asking again, let me be a part of the plan
Give this wretched man a chance
To fight the holy war, be warrior of the clan.
But before that I beg from You
I beg to cleanse my soul
Forgive me for my sins
Let me in my own way, for you, extol.

she came.....

2006-08-17T21:42:00.000+05:30

Beneath the crimson sky
With an emerald hue
She came along on a wave
The smile that was due.

For my spirit only
Riding on the crest
She came to earth for me
Bringing happiness abreast.

They had my soul bound
the zephyrs of her breath
In those flowing locks of hairs lay
the apostle of my worldly death.

Softness as that of her skin
had me numb with a touch.
I realised what heaven was
In the ethereal moment such.

Dreams that I saw
Were like this, that I felt.
I walked along with her
in them, did the oceans melt.

Beneath the crimson sky
With an emerald hue
She came along on a wave
The smile that was due.

my life

2006-08-09T23:05:00.000+05:30

the moments,
melting into each other,
giving way,
each breath, to another,
what has life become
my soul, subdued by a tether.

these thoughts,
the ones, which make me worry.
Coming with a pace
A pace, not less than a flurry.
I dream harder,
harder it seems, but not in a hurry.
I still search,
search a land, where to myself bury.
to all screaming,
screaming a word, that just means Sorry.
yeah, these are the thoughts,
the ones, which make me worry.

it feels,
feels as if burning since ages.
it hurts,
hurts as if a fire ravages.
am falling,
falling there where none salvages.
am going,
going where there are no privilidges.
am dying,
dying like you all, doomed noble savages.
would come,
come here, where your god scavenges.

the moments,
melting into each other,
giving way,
each breath, to another,
what has life become
my soul, subdued by a tether.

Love's reckoning

2006-08-01T01:35:00.000+05:30

Rise up, o my poor soul,
Your day of reckoning has come.
Love, showered with all effort
An insult for them has become.

Each beat that your heart missed,
Each breath that you gave away,
Has become suffering for those
Who were there forever, to stay.

The gasps of uneasy emotions
Through which does the fire foment.
Worried on each act of yours
Arises in the heart, a fierce torment.

Ensuing serene depths of solitude,
Beneath that majestic earthly storm,
Lies the carcass of your love
That place, till now was your home.

Gathered come all, the beings
From all the lands of love.
You shall toil for innocence
No help expected from up above.

Rise up, o my poor soul,
Your day of reckoning has come.
Love, showered with all effort
An insult for them has become.

where i sat

2006-07-30T00:58:00.000+05:30

i just walked out,
living all day, in my cage.
wondering on those steps
where all sit, none a sage.

the noises that pricked ,
the late soriee behind,
each with his boisterous smile
had turned me blind.

suffering at their hands,
being shown a wilful neglect.
passing around me, all,
none noticing where i sat.

only refuge was the breeze
singing and flying playfully around
it did shush in my ears
in sweet smell had me surround.

I lay,not much to share
but the heart full of rage,
wondering on those steps
where all sit, none a sage.

me aint worth it.....

2006-07-24T03:08:00.000+05:30

in the wee hours
i stay awake and think,
with eyes fighting hard
i let this feeling sink.

me aint worth it
this care thats being shown,
trying just to keep it out
from being someone's own.

me aint worth it
for being loved so much,
to be alleviated of my pains
by that sublime touch.

me aint worth it
of being kept around,
to face all the sorrows,
in love, to be bound.

me aint worth it
of putting all your trust,
when breaking all vows
my soul, gathers dust.

me aint worth it
of being walked along,
turning away from all
convinced that it isnt wrong.

me aint worth it
to spend one's life,
when i promise nothing
but glorious strife.

in the wee hours
i stay awake and think
with eyes fighting hard
i let this feeling sink.

wake me up when i die

2006-07-22T21:32:00.000+05:30

I feel so tired today
Begging rest, is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

The walls that appear
the lights which disappear
the sounds getting muffled
destiny’s pages being ruffled
all crying and screaming
my fate is beaming
Finally I find the place
Where death I’d face.

I feel so tired today
Begging rest is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

Eyes floated with pictures
When I forget the scriptures
Spelling the impending doom
My soul whimpers a boom
In silence lying agitated
I feel so emancipated
These tremors do a message send
I fast approach my worthless end.

I feel so tired today
Begging rest is all I say
Wake me up when I lie
Its the moment when I die.

ethics class of mine

2006-07-18T11:59:00.000+05:30

scrambling sun in my eyes
the long walk to the class
defying the strength of a human
i get ready to hear that farce.

bollocks full of crap
raging goes ethics, in my mind
each moral lesson
does nothing but me, blind.

talks of socrates
blasts of aristotle
mingling my head hard
each word a narcotic bottle.

bringing me to the edge
frustrating me to push him through
that morality's class
where none of us have worth to do.

drowsy, dreamy and lousy
the prof scampers for my soul
with all that s**t that he blares
maps a screaching hole.

harshly blaming hedonism
for my guilty pleasures
spoiling each smile of my past
none of these, he treasures.

with a whimper it ends
the tempest that he did start
each concern that he raised
in the end, not worthy a fart.

a belch on constipation

2006-06-29T02:04:00.000+05:30

the scene replicates each day
when for me its hard to say
clutching on my tummy
a short prayer is all i pray.

heavily full upto the brim
all the earlier day's cream
i find it hard to pass it now
each force making me scream.

the smiles that ensue
about my crimson hue
make me beg to GOD
what is this for, what from me is due?

the pills that follow
make me go yellow
nobody understands the misery
how each motion is my sorrow.

i dont wish any to have
coz none seems so brave
this internal enemy
makes every morning grave.

finally patience wins
am acquitted of my sins
i get up with an effort
leaving behind things for the bins.

i have seen my soul in you

2006-06-28T20:15:00.000+05:30

opening my eyes
awakening my mind
celebrating my life
each beat of mine screaming,
i have seen my soul in you.

those flickering eyelashes
the world that it thrashes
the chaos that it ensues
in their rhythm proclaiming,
i have seen my soul in you.

the locks that lock air
those black streams which trap
in each my story tangles
each fall just validating,
i have seen my soul in you.

those lips which shine
and sometimes make a whine
on each my life resides
each kiss from them stipulating,
i have seen my soul in you.

run

2006-06-01T14:25:00.000+05:30

sitting alone here,
i wish to disppear,
run away from this world
to realms which look dear.

leaving all places around,
and tread a different ground,
where all miseries end
and just cheers abound.

what roads to take,
what earths to rake,
where shall i stop
which heart shall i break.

nearing the end,
i see the world bend,
praying just my death
i have no message to send.

from all shall i run,
each a hypocrite son,
nothing to fear
no person, no gun.

sitting alone here,
i wish to disppear,
run away from this world
to realms which look dear.

on gujarat riots

2006-05-29T11:04:00.001+05:30

opening the eyes wide

the vision that has me enthralled

screams which pierce my soul

the spirits looking on, all overhauled.

suffering that they began

wounds that they dig in us hard

now each day i work along to fill

cursing those b**t**ds to have sons retard.

softly the air blows

the scent of blood that oozes in it

nobody here realises that

how life is so much full of sh*t.

i need to work this out

i need to make their world new

that which was destroyed by the cowards

i would rebuild along with the chosen few.

o god, o god, up there,

i need you to be with me,

while i fight this holy war and die,

on my beloved ones shall you oversee.

each day i think

each moment they remind me

the silent begging eyes of children

ones who never wanted it to be.

death when becomes dream

which comes up in eyes open

scarred by pernicious reality

each breath labours hard to find a clan.

opening the eyes wide
the vision that has me enthralled
screams which pierce my soul
the spirits looking on, all overhauled.

rocking with agony

2006-05-25T12:26:00.000+05:30

if it had to be me
why didnt i see
the toughest times were coming
the winds were storms becoming
in the face of it all
i wish i could stop, the fall.
here I come……….
to the depths of the dark
in the valley of mist
what miseries, can I list
when shall it stop
on joy will I hop

all eyes looming on my soul
laughing at me, they're having a ball
no one stretching his arms
no one trying to give alms
smiling with vengeance
testing my allegiance
growling with patience
i keep on the fall
hitting the wall
in the valley of mist
what miseries can I list
when shall it stop
on joy will I hop.

unusual

2006-05-24T13:01:00.000+05:30

it had to be seen
when i woke up one day
in lands close and nearby
i saw the words i say.
i had a call
with "love" that day
saw him depressed
and in deep dismay.
shaking that he was
with fears unknown
hard to console him
i struggled for words gone.
finding his feet
searching for a ground
i fell with him
without a groan or a sound.
while we took a walk
and shared our ideas
mid way he stumbled again
and took his breath last
dying there in my hands
vowing to meet again
he bid me bye,disappearing in sands.
i shall always remember
i had a call
with "love" that day
saw him depressed
and in deep dismay.

where is our present?

2006-05-23T11:43:00.000+05:30

Worried too much about my past

O dear,you just seem to be

While I dwell in our future

In all this, the present, we cant see.

Trying to create the fabric of love

The threads from my life I collect,

Trying to attach the links of my past

My soul's worth, you work to detect.

Learning all along the way

Each mistake in itself has been my lesson.

But all this has been a pain to you

Which my heart's beat tries hard to lessen.

I beg mercy from you and from all

for being so selfish in the recent past.

Wish it had been a wound to me only

And none of this had made you feel aghast.

But i wish the light of my future

One wherein you shall shine,

Can make all the gloom of yesterday

Run away without a slightest whine.

Prayers that rouse from the guilt within

Wind around my soul with each moment

Screaming all the time for you happiness

these words have feelings, you alone foment.

wishes

2006-05-15T15:03:00.000+05:30

O mother, raising me in times hard,

Times which were tough to last

I worry each moment for our future

It should never have a moment of past.

With enough courage I put it out

Right in front of your feet, sweet mother.

I wanna have you both in life

God, never ask me to choose one over another.

O mother, I found someone to love

To love, but lesser than I do to you.

She shall remain the breath I take

But its the soul that is only you.

She has worries of her own

I shall bear them with mine too.

Would work hard to make you happy

as well as her kith and kin too.

Aspiring to make it all right

Forming reality out of dreams.

Nothing shall stop me all these

Yours prayers alone I need, it seems.

Life they say is a garden

And you both are the fragrances.

To plough the weeds out

Would take all my intellect's nuances.

Pray hard for me, mother,

O angel, who brought me to this world,

I bring with me another fairy

to start afresh in the universe old.

a doctor dictates

2006-04-27T13:00:00.000+05:30

All you folks beware

I am the doctor of today.

I would sell you off

Even before a word you say.

I worked hard for years

On the pretext to help you all.

Now is the time to redeem it

And cause your glorious fall.

Ha Ha Ha, there I see you come

And my eyes sparkle with delight.

I shall cut you along

And do wonders with my might.

No one but me rules the earth

Even your God sits next to me,

Where shall now you go with prayers

Each road, o hapless, comes back to me.

Worthy that I am

Crowned over your life,

I shall see that you get

Life after all your strife.

But pay me well, that you shall

I demand your happiness with it.

Give me all in offering

On your sweat lies my glory replete.

a prayer from a poor patient

2006-04-27T12:24:00.000+05:30

Doctors, Dear Doctors,

kindly help me through.

I am submerged in pain

And now, just rely on you.

You are next to God,

as I always say,

Where to end my miseries

From you only, is what I pray.

I have come from a thousand miles

Travelled from a distant land

Just to be treated today

to get me a relief, grand.

I shall sell all I have

I shall do all ye ask

Give everything in offering

O God, just do your task.

Let my hope prevail

let this glimmer shine.

I wont do much for you

But build an ageless shrine.

From birth till death

In all times I shall see you.

You are the only one

Who brings for me, smiles few.

retailing

2006-04-27T11:29:00.000+05:30

Today let me don my marketing hat and try to evaluate something very personal. I am trying my first major analysis of a trend. Dont get shocked, its not gonna be something high fundoo and laden with creativity, but its gonna be something which I have witnessed more often in the recent past. Am talking about the entry of full scale retailing in the medical sector.

I may sound pretty like a layman while trying to attempt this, but i think I can get that much leeway. So let me start.

Retailing can be defined as "Consists of those business activities involved in the sale of goods and services to consumers for their personal, family, or household use." (thats a defination from prentice hall website). As we can see, it involves direct contact with the end user. Its very easy to understand the concept of retailing, visualizing a mom-n-pop shop owner trying to sell a commodity to you. There you are the end user and he is addressing some need of yours. Whatever you get from him, as per your demand and requirement, in all likelihood you would the consumer or someone in your household. So this is what retailing can be understood as. Now, you would ask me as to how I am saying this is a trend in the medical field. Well, then read along.

You all must have heard or seen something which reads like this :

Kaya Skin Clinic http://kayaclinic.com

Well, thats something which is quite visible. Some other thing which you may not have seen but might be affected some day is like this :

Wellspring laboratories http://www.wellspring.in

Now let us try and understand them.

Kaya is a venture by Marico Industries Ltd. and deals with complete skin care. If you visit any of their centre, you would find a mix of a beauty parlour with amalgamated with your local dermatologist. And this presents a beautiful concept, of course, "beautiful" literally. Dermatologists have till now in Indian society always been a referral doctors. We have this tendency to approach a physician first of all, for any problem that we think is there with out body system. This physician then acts as a watershed and directs us to the required doc of our need. Though this attitude is changing now a days and has changed significantly in the learned classes. What Kaya is doing is trying to bypass the physician or any other doctor of that sort, and get you to the direct point of contact, the dermatologist. Though this requires, an awesome amount of awareness to be created, I think they are being successful at the same. It brings in a fantastic mix of corporate marketing with basic medicine. They are targeting right now generally at the upper middle class( afterall its very true that the lower class finds it tough to even meet the daily vitamin requirement, leave aside getting a healthy skin). They have concentrated more on print and word-of-mouth media than on the audio-visual. This was the good side of the project. The good that I think they did is to make medicine a lil more glamourous for the customer.

Now let me see the flip side. It looks more like a saloon. A typical service industry place. So much finesse has gone in the furnishing of the retailing side that I guess they might loose out on the medical aspect. They still cant sideline a local dermatologist. They havent yet made it amply clear that each centre is headed by a dermatologist. They look more of beauty experts rather then skin clinic (which they proclaim). Also, the prices are directed more to the upper middle class and that should be limiting the affordability. They can start having packages at more varied pricing points.

So, I think kaya needs to strike a better balance between the therapeutic aspect and the beauty role.

Lets see something about Wellspring. Wellspring is a chain of laboratories started by the Nicolas Piramal India Ltd (NPIL) as it is said. Headed by Dr. Swati Piramal, wife of Mr. Ajay Piramal. This too is a nice case of retailing. Till now, pathology laboratories have been the backdoor performers in the medical fraternity. They were widely respected by their peers but they were not regarded as brands by the local population. There have been famous local players but nobody had anything of a regional presence, leave aside national. But with labs such as Thyrocare, SRL Ranbaxy, Wellspring, Metropolis, etc this is undergoing a radical change. We are seeing efforts being made by these labs to approach the patient on their own. Its something like Intel coming up with the "intel inside" campaign. But this is even bigger. By getting accreditation and later on consolidating, these labs are trying to gain a better ground in medical retailing. They are becoming iconic brands in front of the patient. The direct consumer. This could in turn, give them a better ground in front of the intermediary physician ( thats probable only if they dont alienate the doctors too much, by trying to be bigger these ageing medical icons). Coming up with packages like lipid profile, etc. they are trying to tap the Primary health care and the preventive health care market. More likely the latter. This does provide them access to a huge potential wherein the physician's reference is not that much required. Whether the physicians accept this trend or not, the consumers ("patients" would not be appropriate here) would rule the roost. These labs are prying on the basic dream of each person, to live a healthy life. Creating awareness, to the extent of a phobia, is the name of the game. Lets see how the market warms up to the reaction.

The major areas where there would be action, would be governed by :

the medical fraternity, esp the physicians.
the local lab players, who currently are very fragmented(but have a nice rapport with the local medical community)
the corporate hospitals (who can enter this field on their own, as they have the required managerial experience and the established brand name)
awareness in the population of their rights and needs

So i guess, I have tried my dumb mind to do some evaluation.
Would do more of this in future,
till then,
ciao.

Now......

2006-04-20T15:10:00.000+05:30

Words are betraying me now.
Feelings are leaving me now.
I wish I could meet you
To end this slow death of mine, now.

Hold my hands together now
Press them hard against yours now
And see the smile that sparkles
To help us end our worries now.

Living life slowly now
Leaving all the haste now.
I walk along on a graceful pace
Wishing you had been here now.

The present appears foggy now
Dreams become so real now.
Smiling besides me you appear
Our future I sense surreal now.

Bring along your kin now
I shall cheer them too now.
Don’t bother alone so much
Think of me by your side, now.

Life has been a misery now
Sorrows just surround me now.
Leaving you in your world
I feel it, as a mistake now.

I wait to meet you now
Sooner, that moment, appears now.
In your memories shall I reside till then
That’s where I love to dwell now.

me against you

2006-04-20T12:50:00.000+05:30

My looks defy my self
My acts defy their meaning
Standing away from the crowd
I observe the world, spinning.
Crazy that it may sound
Crazier it actually is
Evaluating the revolving world
Which moves on, without a hiss.
Looking drugged
Sounding doped
I just hang along
In this worldly wisdom soaked.
Silencing decency
Practicing insane regency,
Give a toss to this world
Rolling on, like a stupefying agency.
Hollering with a grin
Smiling on this carnal sin,
I move along dazed
Throwing the world in a bin.
If you wanna come along
If you wanna join in it,
Throw down all the rules
Of this world, which smells like s**t.
Young guns that we are
Firing at will that we do,
Who cares what you think
What most can you do?

reason

2006-04-20T12:46:00.000+05:30

Does every act of ours
Have a reason behind?
Can not there be things
With nothing to bind.

What makes us work
What makes us all go?
Is it just a thought
Or we swim along a flow?

Why has the mind so much to think
Why I have got so much to brood?
Where is all this getting along
Am I not there, where earlier I stood?

What can be the reason of this
Is it just a season for this?
Making me wonder all around
I scamper for a piece of bliss.

When would the mind blend in
And give away to my heart.
When I shall I not be worried
And let my troubles depart.

Each act of mine I see
Each word of mine I hear
Trying to get its reason
Every breath today, sheds a tear.

to AB

2006-04-19T11:38:00.000+05:30

Beauty of each kind

Runs around aplenty,

Caught in this maze here

I struggle to refrain this dainty.

Its all for you, O dear,

That I am fighting this sin,

The pleasure that I can get

is not worthy of your chagrin.

I wish my prayers work

God protects me from such vices,

I do not want to loose you

And for that, shall pay hefty prices.

Live with gala and cheer

in that distant land of yours,

I promise to come one day

and bring you happiness,pure.

Stop being worried about me

Stop being bothered by what i say.

I have given you my heart

And that is what matters, come what may.

Only ye shall have my heart,

Rule, only ye shall do.

No damsel can now allure me

After I have fallen just for you.

life in mumbai

2006-04-19T10:30:00.000+05:30

Hi all,

Did I mention you as to how I am doing in mumbai and what I am doing in mumbai? Well, I guess I havent had the chance to say this. So I take this chance to explain all of you as to what my life has taken in, in this vibrant city called Mumbai.

Mumbai lies on the west coast of India and is the capital of the state of Maharashtra. But it is famous as the commercial hub of India. With a staggering population of 12,691,836 it comes as the second highest urban population in the world, behind only to shanghai, china. It houses one of the most recalled building structures in india, the BSE. Also, the architectural flora of the city includes gems like The Taj hotel, Gateway of India, the dargah of Haji Ali, etc. It is the city of cinema and the corporates. Its said that if you can rule this city then you can rule India (dont say this in front of delhites who think its their call). Many people come to mumbai, to earn their livelihood and as I have experienced in my short stay, the city does welcome them. Though the arms are not open and there is no smile on the face, but the city does let you in. Afterall, it knows that it is the finest example of "survival of the fittest". Either you can surf through the mazes of problems that it throws at you or get lost, never to be found.

If there is something you find unique about this city is that it is formed of many ecosystems. Or in the parlance of more scientific nerds, its the city formed of ghettos. Not just divided on the basis of religion but also on the basis on language (gujarati, hindi, marathi, tamil and bengali being the principle ones), on the basis of the region of origin(west, east or south india), etc. Also, its quite contrasting considering the proximity to gujarat, that the city has no hatred towards one religion. Its easy to find muslims living peacely in a hindu dominated place and even have a mosque of their own. It does signify a lot for the tolerance of this city. I guess, its just that the city is too busy to even give a thought as to who is the neighbour.

It has been a week and I have now formed a real fine routine. A guy who found so hard to get up at 9 in the morning, now gets up at 6 30 and is able to reach his office by 9.I guess thats the beauty of this city. It can get the best out of any ambitious guy without even giving the hint of it. Well, as usual, as some habits die hard, I do not have my breakfast. The office has a vending machine and if there was something in this place which reminds me of heaven, I think its this machine. Inside the cubicle, the world of my own, takes breath. The A/c blows with relentless care and never even gives a thought as to who I am and untill when shall i be. It kind of signifies the attitude of this city - cold, chilling, to the point and precise. Afterall, "time nai hai na bhai". I sit all day, surf the web, find out the relevant info that is required and then in the end leave. I have lunch in a mess which is much better than the same thing that out college runs. Nice food and back to my office. Each day I try and find people to whom i can send in mails and get in touch. Yes, that is which is motivating me a lot.

At the end of the day, around 4 30, i start the ardous journey back home. Take a bus and as happens most of the time, I sleep in the bus and the conductor wakes me up at andheri. And then, i just hurry up to the flat and drop in the bed as soon as it can. Evenings are eagerly awaited as by then Vikas is back and we take the rounds of the neighbourhood, either for food or some other thing the emerging Halan-Tyagi household needs.

Thats the normal day of mine though there are those similarly wonderful weekends I go home.

I hope you had the time and the courage to read my crap,

would do something which mumbai never does, say "Thanx".

Take care and have fun,

had you been here

2006-04-18T14:52:00.001+05:30

Had you been here

We would have had so much of fun,

We could have danced along the beach

From morning till the setting sun.

Had you been here

I would have carried you along.

To see this vibrant city

Which seems to be placed oblong.

Roaming along the streets

Juggling through the crowd.

I would have declared to all

That you only make me so proud.

Holding hard your hand

Each time being scared to loose you.

We could have fared here together

No need for me to miss you.

Since you are there

I just keep dreaming all day.

That had you been here

I would have had nothing to say.

The great divide

2006-04-18T14:22:00.000+05:30

It has been a stuff of the legends.

The great disparity that is shown between the lives of those living in the cosy cities and those in the rustic villages. And nothing is more prominent than the difference in the healthcare facilities. One where the private sector rules the roost and another whether the government is fighting hard against the most elementary of diseases. Let me try and evaluate this divide, afterall that is what somewhere I aim to bridge in the long run.

The rural areas of India are predominantly served by the government-run PHCs and CHCs. Yes, those dilapidated buildings with just a coat of whitewash. These centres cater to the very heart of India, the most primal needs in healthcare. Ranging from childbirth to malaria, these centres epitomise the courtsey that the government extends to the rural population. And this where the courtsey also ends. Managed by phantoms (afterall these centres are plagued by absenteeism of the doctors and the staff members), we cannot much criticize the setup. Afterall it caters to at least 60 odd percent of the population of India. But you just cant help brooding as to why it lies in its present stage. A lil consideration on the part of the government, after taking such pains to establish such a wide network, would go a long way in helping the health-related issues of india. A lil more efficient management.

Contrary to this, see the city life. It has changed from the days of the ubiquitous compounder to the stage of implementation of ERP softwares. From the days when it took days for lab reports to come, to the days where they can be obtained online. The health sector is in for some huge reforms. The players who are bringing in such change are none other than corporates. Think of corporates like wockhardt, ranbaxy, apollo, etc who are employing the skills of management which have helped them grow so efficiently in their respective fields, now being implemented in hospitals. Concepts like just-in-time (JIT), Six sigma, etc have found their way from the manufacturing shop-floor to the operating table. It does represent what lies ahead.

See, i think we have just covered the spectrum here. The darkest side lies in the heartland of rural and some parts of lower socioeconomic strata in the cities, while the other side in the cities is glowing with all its might.

I dont know what disturbs me. This unequal distribution of facilities to serve up my basic right of being healthy or my inability to bridge the divide. But there is something which is disturbing me. I wish and pray that by the time I leave this planet, I must have made these segments more closer than before.

till sometime later,
from office,
this is,
javed.

at work

2006-04-12T15:51:00.000+05:30

o god,

see now i am in an office.

Yep, thats what it is....

The A/c blowing at full force, the lights kind of tuned in to appear a lil dim, the environ having a bluish hue and a full time net access on my laptop just give the testimonials for the fact that I am in somplace I dont belong. A very formal setting. Yeah, but the good thing is that the job that has been entrusted to me is a very fascinating peice of work. Something that suites the taste that an idiot like me percieves and something which I would love to give my best.

Well, my project invloves dealing with feasibility study and its a very exploratory stuff. I would be meeting doctors, CEOs and patients, as goes the trend till now. So, let me keep my fingers crossed and arms open to welcome this change in my life.

Would write as and when i get time,

till then,

for my seniors, who need not be named

2006-03-21T16:25:00.000+05:30

For you:

Having walked with you
I realize what you truly are.
When now that you leave
You leave, a gapping scar.

I am just having this thought
this day, I wish I didn’t see.
How shall I forget those moment
When you looked over me.

Never really did it occur
that you shall not be around.
My world, this, wherein you live
Today, nothing but fears surround.

What acts shall I do,
Where shall I blow my horn?
Who shall now hide me through
when the world and me, are enemies, sworn.

Grow now, as I shall,
You would have a say.
May you get all you want

Is all that I humbly pray.

biding adieu

2006-03-21T14:27:00.000+05:30

All have to leave.
Yes, from each and every place. We all have to leave.

In moments of fun and happiness, we seldom give a thought. As such, we are not supposed to give a thought for such things. But still, we never care. That we all have to leave. And that is how I felt when seniors were leaving the campus.

Each person was a story that unfurled. The story that was later wrapped and packed. Packed to be posted far away. Each senior, familiar or not, had taken away moments of his and memories of others. Each senior had some smiles that were shared and some sorrows that were hidden. All these and many more, left along with them. People leave and others cry. Some more and some less. And then life takes its own way. Acquaintances of today become memoirs of yesterday. Some change is rubbed off on each. The one who leaves and one who is left. Each had been touched by that other person, knowingly or unknowingly. Life does teach its lessons in manners not thought.In manners not dreamt. Thus, I too learned this thing. We all have to leave. Make most of the time that you have around. Make most of moments that you can garner. Because one day this all gonna end. The tribulations, the celebrations and the solemn existence. Yep, its all gonna end.

Take care.
Biding adieu and wishing you all succeed.
J.

humanity

2006-03-20T17:50:00.000+05:30

Lost frequently among us
Being relegated to insanity,
crying still, from afar
is the orphan child called Humanity.

Pressures across life
Days pass by, unknown.
No care for the delinquent
Each thinks his very own.

Too much worry for self
so less time for others.
Once who cared for all
Where are those mothers?

Just thoughts of discards
Happiness resides therein.
Rationality just judges around
Who shall look within?

Is there still space left
Where once again shall hope abide.
Once again shall Heroes rise
And bridge the Hearts' divide.

The new approach

2006-03-20T03:16:00.000+05:30

Branding.

Most of us on campus, who are aspiring to be graduates in marketing, are just dreaming about that glamorous word. Branding.

Is marketing only about branding? Well, to say the least, I am seriously in the agreement that yeah, it is. Marketing today has been replaced by branding. And this does seem right. Let me give you my perception as to why it is right.

Branding is nothing but how you are able to connect the product with the customer. How you are able to transfrom a commodity into an object of respect, love, admiration or appreciation. Yeah that is branding. In short, branding is more akin to making a relationship.

Marketing on the other hand, is about the needs of a person. Identification of the need, appreciation of the need and then efforts made to convert that need into a want and finally satisfy it. If we look closely at these two definitions, we can say on a broader plane, that they both mean the same thing.

People have this perception that marketing does involve a more rational approach to product selling while branding has a more emotional approach. But thats not the case. Ultimately, both cannot succeed without a good quality product. A bad product can never sustain a good marketing/branding strategy. These strategies are just the mechanisms to spread the quality of the product to a larger audience and in this manner, be able to generate profit for the organisation. No step in any of the processes involves fooling around with the customer. This is more of a win-win situation.

Branding does represent the glamourised version of selling a product. It does seem to be having more finesse. It may give you the impression as out of touch with ground realities. But thats not the case. A brand is the personality affixed to the product. Its development requires the same zeal in the sales team, the same penetration of the distribution channels and the same efficiency of the supply chain. It fact, its a more comprehensive scenario of meeting the need of the customer. It in fact is a more sophisticated method of easying out the purchasing decision of the customer. Its about giving him that extra confidence while buying and also being able to save time. Its not about blind belief but its about faith. And thats why, branding is an all-inclusive and comprehensive strategy for meeting the company's and the customer's expectations.

I would come up with more of such thoughts. Till then,
Ciao.

elements

2006-03-19T17:46:00.001+05:30

Open your eyes,
let dreams flow out.
Change the world
let happiness sprout.

Give away Me
Take along We.
And be surprised
As to what ye shall see.

Play with the dirt
Thats time afterall.
Make castles from it
Ones which will not fall.

Swim along in the rain
Its the moments that fly.
Catch on your destiny
It disappears in manners sly.

Light up that fire
That passion of soul.
Let it burn misfortune
And bury it in a hole.

Smell that air
Its all your care.
All shall smile
Let none remain spare.

Thus elements remain
All around our life.
Use them for your fate
And remove all the strife.

Re"search"

2006-03-19T16:55:00.000+05:30

Chart unchartered territory. Look within. Look without.

Well, I guess thats what the world is heading upto. Everywhere there are signs that we are so much frustrated to search things. Here are two links.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/bigphotos/7742557.html
and
http://www.google.com/mars/

See, those links first of all. They represent somewhere what we all aspire. To search. To know more. To be more powerful. Very few people around tend to collect information just for the sake of collecting it. We tend to look at those things which interest us. And conciously or unconciously, we tend to utilize this information to dominate. Afterall, the expression "knowledge is power" didnt come just because some nerd wanted to express the usefulness of knowledge. It was more to ascribe the lure for power.

From the two links, i tend to get what are the frontiers of our thoughts. Upto what distance can we think. And if we can, then why dont we think? Why is there such a large chunk of population able to accept what has been relegated to it by its forefathers? Why are we getting all the more irrational about rationality? The links suggest that we are so much bothered about the existence of life on mars or knowing the origin of our planet. All these hulla bullah is just to know how we all came up? Can it be said that we are more inclined to define our past than to forge our future? Is future just a mistress of the sci-fi writer? Is future just about gravity-defying vehicles, aliens, atmospheric cataclasms or maybe distant galaxies? What should be the limit of our rationality in visualizing?

Future is made up of moments. Cultivated one by one. Then why are we so much bothered by such distant dreams. Isnt uplifting the immediate surroundings a part of that dream? Then why are we spending billions on knowing mars, when we dont know why is so much population leaving in slums in mumbai? This complete picture represents a very confusing outlook. Am kind of getting disillusioned by myself. This artcile is just one of those things. I have no idea where i am going. But its my destiny to move on. What is that I should do to be able to gel all this irregularities around me into a single dynamic body? I know i cant be god and as such I dont want to be one. Gods cant fail and I dont wanna be cursed in that fashion.

Well, to all those around, I wish you can search what you all want. And maybe in that fashion someone might help me out as to what I can do.

the "right" choice

2006-03-19T02:22:00.000+05:30

They passed away ages ago,
leaving behind the rules.
The ones which are being imposed on me
yeah, the same old rules.

Dictating every act of mine,
these rules, my undoubted lords.
Reducing every effort of mine,
Do nothing they shall, these callous words.

Smiling on my endaevour,
Making fun of it all.
Here are the bunch of rules,
which mean to say it all.

Binding me in my spirits,
tying down my wings.
This remnant of heritage
now harshly on me, sings.

Making me loose my own,
increasing nothing but my woe.
How shall I respect all these
When nothing but sorrows, they sow.

Yeah, these rules,
ones which resound in each voice.
How shall they approve of me
One, who does not obey the "right" choice.

love

2006-03-17T18:39:00.000+05:30

Love.

Well, they say it surrounds you. Its in the Air. Its something that we all wanna have. Its something we all aspire to achieve. Love here means that sublime, surreal (wow, that happens to be some familiar territory), supple, ethereal and blissful feeling. The feeling that makes us comfortable. The feeling which helps us to reach out the depths of our efficiency. The feeling which states that no matter what the world thinks of you, no matter who you are dubbed as, no matter how you come across, no matter what you have achieved, there is someone around who is always be the one smiling for you. This someone can be from the group consisting of your parents, your friends, brothers or sisters or maybe your sweetheart. The important aspect is that if this someone elicits the same feelings that I described above, then its your responsibility that you make them stayin your life.

Love, because of its such specific characteristics, like bein sublime, has also many deathtraps involved around it. We often fall in love "at face value". The kind of love, that a guy gets for a girl in his class, wherein the only thing which drives the person is Love. Rationality is at that time, the most common thing in the realms of unused senses. Well, we all go through that phase. We get "in awe" of that chosen one and forget to use our head. We forget to find out the very basic goodness that is required in our "Love" which can help us to stay with them for the rest of our lives. We have to search for this "good" in our love. Coz there would always be times when love would be stretched. Times when it would be easier to give up. Times when we would doubt our intimate feelings. At such times, its this "good" in our idol, that would help us to stay around. To not give up. To work out for being with her/him.

There are instances all around. People falling in love for the wrong person. Do fall in love. Its always a learning lesson. If you are successful, if you are able to achieve the love from your love-interest, then there is nothing like that. But many a times, people are fooled by the ones whom we love. When we are taken for granted. When we are just a speck in their life, which whenever they want, can observe, play or move around. And at other times, we are just secluded in the junkyards of their memory. Beware....friends just BEWARE. Love should never be taken as a weakness. Rise up. Stand. Show that love is something that gives strength. Love might be the purest feeling around, but dont under estimate the power of its vengeance. Show that to the world.

I think i have said enough on this topic of love. Maybe there is still more to come. Would after all keep writing. Before going take this quote :

Dont let go too soon, dont hang on too long.

Do keep me posted,

yours LOVingly,

j.

that day in the park

2006-03-17T11:26:00.000+05:30

Walking around
I met her in the park.
Those beautiful eyes
That voice like a lark.

Smiling with her pals
She looked, such a wonder.
Happiness all around her
She’d force even God, to ponder.

Gazing at her, I found
What bliss in world, meant.
This should be that very angel
For me, whom God must have sent.

No sins shall have touched her
No vices must she have borne.
Such was my dream
In moments, that was torn.

But then I realized
Just in that park.
All that glitters is not gold
Every beauty hides an ugliness, stark.

I didn’t give much thought
Kept my feelings and walked out.
I had lost much for such a thing called Love
And would not let the monster again sprout.

If it shall be my destiny
She shall come along,
No use making an effort
No use writing for her a song.

I’d wait, yes, I’d wait,
For her, just in this park.
Lets see, when comes the light
In my life, which is so dark.

wo....now that happens again!!!!

2006-03-13T19:33:00.000+05:30

The day is 12th march, 2006.

And there are two news items which tend to peek out of all the news of the day, in the quite realms of my room, at the end of the day. Here are the two links for all of you out there...

http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/702946D3-8A83-4C52-8512-7AD35AA69E47.htm

and

http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/rsavaus/content/current/story/240507.html.

Now what is the underlying theme to both the above articles. For some of you like me, who are quite conservative about the use of energy required to see the links, let me first give a summary. The former article is a news post of al-jazeera online wherein the reason of death of the great tyrant Slobodan Milosevic has been speculated as that of a rogue drug ingestion. The latter is the bulletin post on cricinfo.com regarding the manner in which South Africa was able to chase successfully the highest ODI score till then of 434 ( a number which when I first saw, gave me an impression of being a rare "typo" on the net ).

I know it would be extremely hard to try and find any underlying thread of rationality between these two news but then since nowadays, the lonely haven of my room, has been quite the stimulus for being all the more irrational that I am, I did find something common.

Both the news tend to point the fact that how "Power" in all its ethereal sense is destroyed over a span of time.
When Milosevic came in power, in erstwhile Serbia ( I am using the word 'ertswhile' because after the war, there is sparsely anything to be called as a country ), the one thing which he did with utmost dedication was the killing of muslims. He was the reason why the over jingoistic western media, which forever tries hard to increase the load on a lexicographer, coined the term "Ethnic Cleansing".
For all those who find the word very similar to some tagline of an HLL product, let me tell you all that its one of the worst things to be ever witness too ( am saying coz I had the misfortune to see something similar and still come out alive, since I hail from Gujarat....aka Narendra Modi's serbia).
The underlying psyche of being the supreme ruler does tend to make people over zealous about the fact that they cannot be brought to book for this. Though all the while, there has been evidence sprinkled over history , that such acts have seldom gone unpublished or unpunished. But then they rightly say " absolute power corrupts absolutely". Milosevic was ultimately brought to book when Nato and USA ( another power and mischief monger ) did try to reign in the civil strife that was prevalent in the regions of what was now left of Yugoslavia.
Milosevic died in a cell while under going trial for war crimes in international court of justice. An apt end to a saga riddled with blood. Afterall, which one of the publicity seeking leader would love to die in a cell, all the more closer to the roots of the civilization that they did defy.

Now after this lengthy discourse on the dastard of a person, let me come to cricket. Well, to say the least, this Australia V/s South Africa match would remain etched in my memory for long and it was an honour in being a witness to the same.
What did the match indicate? To me it seemed like even God was tired of seeing the clinical supremacy that Australia has brought into the game of cricket.
The team which defined new meaning to professionalism in cricket at least in the last decade, had fallen twice in an year, to arch rivals. First, they lost the Ashes and then this. It was pleasing to see that now there would some even distribution of power, in the cricketing field, which otherwise had been more of a talk to decide who was the second best. South Africa, branded as perennial "chokers", just didnt look like an outfit they have always been. To be able to chase such a mammoth total and that too against the team like aussies, looked like david V/s goliath battle. But little did it seem that in the end , God does favour david. And so here He did it too.
Absolute power of the kangaroos had been destroyed by the Proteas. Power did change hands here. Just like milosevic, that i illustrated above, Aussies have been dubbed, sometimes indirectly in there own words, as "Power personified". But the fort did fall.
I know some of my peers would argue that its just one game and aussies still rule the game. But then that is what people said when they lost the ashes. Well, floodgates of failures, of winners, are hard to open but once the water does start trickling, remember...they are hard to close too.

I know i have said and written a lot here which for any busy person would not form the flavour of reading. But then i did say in my first post that, this space is just for venting off my inner feelings.

Thanks a lot to all those who did read. Do ponder on the above points.

Till then, take care,
j.

why the name?

2006-03-12T12:48:00.000+05:30

I had to start one day.

Obviously, it could not have come any bit late.
The encircling chaos, rousing uneasiness and gory silence. Well, thats the premise that sometimes our mind has and it has to vent out its inner self. And for that, yeah for that purpose only, I have started this endaevour. Yep, blogging.
I have been a "late entrant", as the psychedelic marketing grads around me would tag, in this field of blogging. But let me remind a fact at this point of time, that this effort is not to be shared with the people around me, that is my college mates, etc. This would be more of a launchpad for me to scale the worldly heights (see, just mention the name launchpad and i am getting jittery coz of my lookalike disney character).
The agenda of information to be put up on this blog would be pretty simple. Things I feel to let out would be posted here but this link will rarely be shared with more than 5 people.
Enough of saying all the crap till now. Lets test this stuff of posting.
Keeping you updated about all this,
urs,
j.